Shield of Faith...

"Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out."  [Ephesians 6:13-18, The Message]

“Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.”  This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it.  This is why we work hard and continue to struggle, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers. [1 Timothy 4:8-10, NLT]

Are you experiencing darkness...void...brokenness...insecurity...uncertainty...weariness...weakness... exhaustion...loneliness...adversity?  Are you struggling without purpose and searching for answers, when you don't even know the questions to ask?  Have you turned away from Truth, Righteousness, Peace, Faith and Salvation? 

OR

Are you preparing your mind for battle?  Are your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the Gospel of Peace?  Are you training yourself to be godly, to be holy - set apart - reflecting the Glory and Image of the The Way, The Truth and The Life - who is Christ Jesus!  Are you covered with the full armor of God?

It is so easy to get caught up in the darkness, worry, fear, and doubt of our continued struggle. But consider it pure joy when the enemy is working against you...for you must then be working against him!  Spiritual warfare is real y'all!  And just in case you don't know...when you are advancing the Kingdom of God by your thoughts, your actions, your words and expressions of Faith - the evil rulers and wicked schemes of this world will come against you!  So above all...pick up the "shield of faith" - the armor to the armor - and keep going...press on...finish well the course He has set before you!  Greater things are yet to come!  Stand firm, be ready and hold tightly to His Promises, for...

God is who He says He is!

God can do what He says He can do!

I am who God says I am!

I can do all things through Christ Jesus - who is our strength!

The Word of God is alive and active in my life!

{taken from Believing God by Beth Moore, emphasis mine}

And in the midst of chaos over the last two weeks...an incredible blessing of truth in a quiet moment was revealed through the words above, as I picked up Believing God and found this "shield of faith"!  And little did I know that these 5 statements of Truth would transform Kelly and my perspective and posture in ways unimaginable! 

The past two weeks have been full of struggle, and the wicked schemes of the enemy have been intense!  The physical, emotional, mental and spiritual fight over the last year has left a wake of exhaustion, weariness, and a swirl of fears! Sleep deprivation was (and is) upon us...but not just from Jackson's 4 months here on earth!  The sheer intensity of this past year's fight has come barreling down on us - and we hit the wall last week!  BUT GOD...

For He poured out so generously on us through Jesus Christ our Savior, as He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit [Titus 3:4-5]...and Renewal is upon us!  Praise be to the God of Hope - for by the Grace, Peace and Strength of our Savior, Redeemer and Lord...we have bounced back!  But, I want you to know that we would not be standing today if not for the Power and Promise in Prayer!  God's perfect provision in His Grace and Mercy continue to sustain us, as He walks with us through the struggle!  He is Faithful!  And as we fix our eyes on Christ alone, we hold firm to the Promises of the Resurrection and the Life! 

We trust and believe that our battle is not against flesh and blood...but against the enemy -  the prince of this world.  And as we stand and fight in the Name of Jesus - we must continue to prepare, hold firm, and be ready for battle with our shield of faith and the full armor of God!

UPDATE: Over the last two weeks our time has been intentional and focused on the foundation, structure and lifestyle changes necessary in our "new normal"!   Again, I believe the transition from 2 kids to 3 would be overwhelming under normal circumstances - as zone defense is a completely different from man to man!  Being outnumbered requires an different style of communication and relationship as parents - and Kelly and I have had to relearn all of our "normalcies", which has been a challenge for two first-borns!      

Jackson - has been a handful!  He has been extremely fussy, not sleeping well - especially during the noise and motion of Carter and Jordyn's day.  The transition and change in routine of "boot camp" have been difficult...but then again training - physical or spiritual - is not intended to be comfortable!  God never said it would be easy...and He never said that we could do it alone!  But He did promise it would be worth it! 

The curve ball came on Tuesday, of last week, when Jackson had his follow up appointment and echo with his new Cardiologist.  During our visit with Dr. Aurora, Jackson's echo showed that his tricuspid valve continues to have a "mild to moderate" leak.  The leak is slightly better since the Glenn surgery, but there has not been a significant change.  He is "ok" and stable right now, but as he grows and his body demands a more effective circulation and oxygen flow - the valve function in its current state, will not be sufficient.  So...we enter yet another "waiting period" over the next 12-16 months.  His team of doctors will closely watch this insufficiency and determine the appropriate steps as we get closer to the third open heart surgery in the series at or about 2 years old.  The valve function can and may improve over time - holding firm to the promise that all things are possible with Christ, who is our strength - or it may need to be surgically repaired or replaced.  Again, the worse case scenario was discussed as we continue to "prepare for the worse and remain hopeful for the best"!

And then knuckle ball was thrown last Thursday!  We received a call about 2pm from Dr. Aurora with his opening statement "I know this conversation is going to catch up off guard!"  That is never a great way to start a convo!  Here - after two days of conversation and conference with the team...they determined that Jackson's EKG may possibly have shown that he may be experiencing a cardiac arrhythmia or condition of abnormal electrical activity in the heart.  The doctors can not confirm or deny an issue from the normal EKG reading...so they admitted Jackson back into the hospital today, and placed him under general anthesia this morning at 7:30am for a series of tests, including an esophageal EKG and possible Cardiac Cath.

Obviously, with Jackson only having a single ventricle system - everyone is proceeding with extreme caution... as arrhythmias can be life-threatening - causing cardiac arrest, sudden death or predispose Jackson with the potential for a stroke.  Arrhythmias can also be very minor and more of an annoyance...and it this point, they have no idea as to the severity - if at all - to his condition.  (The series of test are currently underway, as I am writing and updating this blog from the same-day waiting room at Children's Hospital.)  We will keep you posted...

As for the rest of the family...Miss Jordyn is finally over a terrible head cold, fever, congestion and cough!  She too had not been sleeping well last week, but has a renewed energy this week!  She has been absolutely hilarious, and is really starting to express herself vocally - including the whole hand on the hip attitude.
Carter is doing great...and adjusting to the new schedule/routine of life in zone-defense!  He continues to amaze us with his example and care as a big brother - and just yesterday, he noticed that Kel was tired and struggling with a headache.  He came over to her, and told her that he would take care of Jackson and that she should go take a nap!  His compassion is absolutely awesome, and we are so excited to see how God continues to work in his life!  He continues to ask incredible questions about God, and of Jesus' death and resurrection (still amazed that he uses that word in perfect understanding) surrounding the Easter season.  His faith is absolutely amazing! 
And talk about faith...Kelly continues to be a rock!  She is absolutely incredible...and continues to provide an awesome foundation in our home!  She has been under attack - no doubt - but continues to stand strong and hold firm!  There is nothing more amazing than watching her love in action for our kids!  I definitely married up and am so blessed! 
Douglas is Douglas!  I am doing well (thanks for asking!), and I have gotten back in the saddle with work - and we are absolutely blessed to serve along side an incredible team of prayer and faith warriors!

LATEST UPDATE:  We just talked with Dr. Beerman...Jackson is out of the Cath Lab and heading to the recovery area!  The esophageal procedure went extremely well, and they were able to determine that he does NOT have the Wolff-Parkinson-White (WPW) rapid heart, arrhythmia condition they were fearful of.  The pacing/electrical side of his heart looks absolutely, wonderful!!!   How Awesome is our God!  Jackson will be in recovery for a couple of hours as the anesthesia wears off...and we should be home early this afternoon! 

Thank you for your continued love, prayers and support!  God does give us things that we can not handle on our own...but in Him and surrounded by His body, we can continue to wade through the struggles, holding firm to His promises!  There is a tremendous power in and through the prayers of His people...and though our circumstances may not change, the condition and attitude of our heart changes as we present our requests before His Throne of Amazing Grace! 

All Eyes on Jesus! 

"Boot Camp": Experienced the discipline...

Remember today that your children were not the ones who saw and experienced the discipline of the LORD your God: His majesty, His mighty hand, His outstretched arm; the signs He performed and the things He did in the heart...It was not your children who saw what he did for you in the desert until you arrived at this place...But it was your own eyes that saw all these great things the LORD has done.

[Deuteronomy 11:1-7]

Absolutely Unbelievable, Seriously Ridiculous, Crazy, Divine Favor and Healing...Moving Mountains...are the phrases that have been on our hearts, minds and lips over the last three days (as they have over the last year!) ...but not without great struggle do we write a new Psalm! 

I write today...just as the great Psalmist, King David wrote - sharing Praise in, through and beyond the grip of suffering and struggle.  This is why I love the Psalms so much...they are a transparent song of Joy, Hope and Peace in the reality of the every day adversity we face!  Over the last several years, God has stirred a great desire in my heart to read and meditate through the Psalms - revealing tremendous Power, Strength, Truth and Grace to walk by Faith through the troubles of this world, by the encouragement shared of a man truly after "God's own heart!"  [Acts 13:22]

Today - we are a writing a new Psalm in this journey!  You know the struggles, suffering and sorrow, but you know the Victory!  You know the heartbreaks, but you also know the Life!  You know the doubt, the worry, the fear...but you have also seen and experienced His Majesty, His Mighty Hand, His Outstretched Arm, His miraculous signs and wonders! 
As Kelly and I have reflected over the last three days - here is the question that the Lord has laid on our hearts..."What are you going to do with this miracle journey?"  It was not Jackson who saw what God did!  It was not Jackson who experienced the discipline?  It was not Jackson's faith - today - that was tested or called to the challenge, endurance and perseverance.  But ours!  And over the last three days...in the wake of the miracles this last year has held...this is the question, by which Kelly and I have been confronted!  What are we going to do with this miracle journey?  What has God taught us about who He is?  What has He taught us about our faith, our call, and our discipleship through His favor, His majesty, and His sovereignty? 

And our response...a New Psalm!  In the wake of the miracles and in, through and beyond the grip of the struggles - we are sharing a new song of praise!  We are writing a new Psalm, because our faith believes that Greater Things are yet to come!  Greater Things are still to be done - not just in our lives, our family, and our community - but in yours! 

"It was our own eyes that saw all these great things the LORD has done...now - observe therefore all the commands I am giving you today, so that you may have the strength to go in and take over the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, and so that you may live long in the land...land flowing with milk and honey. The land you are entering to take over is not like the land, from which you have come...But the land you are crossing the Jordan to take possession of is a land of mountains and valleys that drinks rain from heaven. It is a land the LORD your God cares for; the eyes of the LORD your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end."

[Deuteronomy 11:7-12]

And so today (actually Monday) - is a new beginning in our house...spring has sprung and "boot camp" has begun!  Didn't know I was a poet!  LOL...
Last Friday, I shared that we have definitely realized that there is a "hole in our roof".  And if you are not familiar with the scene of Mark 2 - Jesus' healing of the paralytic and the faith of friends - please click on the following link and take 2 minutes to go to biblegateway.com and read this story - so that you understand I am speaking figuratively and not literally of a "hole in our roof".  [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%202:1-12&version=NIV]

You see...it takes a tremendous amount of resources - physical, emotional, mental and spiritual - to bring people to the feet and healing of Jesus!  And the day after the miracle - there is a great realization that takes place..."honey, there is a hole in our roof - where faith led the broken and hurting to the Amazing Grace and Healing of Jesus!"  And we too embrace that there is a huge hole in our roof from our journey of faith and healing in Jackson's life over the last year!  But God...
Because we are learning to love the "hole in our roof"!  How sweet it is!  How awesome of a reminder or stone of remembrance it offers to God's Miraculous Healing, Majesty and Power!  And yes - the "hole" can cause doubt and fear, but we trust that God is Jehovah Jireh - the Lord will Provide - and in Jesus' name we pray and trust that His Grace is sufficient and His Power is made perfect in our weakness! [2 Corinthians 12:9]  And so we observe the commands He is giving us today, and take possession of this new land...and life! A life of Praise through the storm!  A life of Healing through the broken hearted! A life of Victory through impossibility!

So..."Boot Camp" started Monday! 

Jackson is learning that he loves to cry - now that he is able!  He has been very fussy - but aren't most of us when change in a routine is involved!  We are focused at getting him on a schedule that works best for the family - not just Jackson!  He has been the boss for the last three months - but...not any more!  He continues to eat well [4+ ounces on a regular diet of GoodStart Gentle Plus formula every three hours - a huge blessing, as we do not have to mix a 24 cal special recipe any more!] and is very consistent with his feeding schedule, which is a tremendous blessing in the midst of trying to establish a routine!  He continues to take his meds (Captopril for heart strength/blood pressure, Lasik for fluid reduction, and Zantac for reflux) very well...and things seem to be currently balanced in that area.  He is taking Motrin around the clock and Tylenol to help with the pain following surgery and the headaches that the doctors believe he is experiencing, due to the new plumbing/re-routing of his blood from his brain and upper extremities.  The bi-directional Glenn shunt hooked up the Superior Vena Cava directly to the pulmonary artery, which greatly changes the flow and pressures in his brain.  In theory this would cause severe headaches, but it is just a little hard for a 3month old to tell you his head hurts!  It will take a couple of weeks for his body/brain to adjust - and should be off the Tylenol within days, and then the Motrin within a week - hopefully! 
He is sleeping well at night - now that he is adjusted back to his nursery and crib!  He gave the nurses fits at the hospital with not sleeping at night...but has transitioned well at home!  He is still fussy and not sleeping much through the day, which makes an extremely long day with the demands of two other amazing kids!  Speaking of Carter and Jordyn...
Carter...is doing wonderfully, and continues to set the example!  The two of us went for a hike the other day in the 50 degrees and sunshine - finally!  He continues to amaze us with his compassion and prayers for his little brother!  He understands that Jackson still has a long road ahead of him and continues to intercede for his baby brother!  Carter and mommy had a day at the Carnegie Science Center yesterday - and had an absolute blast with his friends from school!  It is just awesome to have some "normalcies" back in our life!
Jordyn...is Jordyn!  She is an absolute pistol and a princess in the same breath!  She cracks us up too many times in a day to count!  She has been struggling with a bad cold and fever over the last couple of days, but still has more energy than Kelly and I combined!  Her world has been rocked over the last several months - as she is no longer the baby of the family, but she has taken the big sister role to a whole new level!  When Jackson cries...she is the one who comes running for mommy and daddy with "jack jack drying!" She loves to give "baby Jack Jack" hugs and kisses - and you don't have to worry about mommy being over-protective...Jordyn has this covered all by herself!  Please pray for her healing, as this cold has really hurt her rest and sleep - and she is battling hard right now!
Mommy and Daddy... are stronger today than they ever have been!  Our prayer through this journey continues to be one of unity in our marriage and home!  Our relationship has been under some very tough stresses and strains with the move and Jackson's medical care...but we are truly more united today than we ever have been!  We struggle at times...but typically that comes when we are not praying or digging into the Word together!  Our morning coffee/hot chocolate devotion, prayer and conversation time has returned as a staple in our diet - and we are making some very difficult decisions regarding our emotional, spiritual, physical and financial peace!  We have not only begun the Total Money Makeover - but the Total Life Makeover in the wake of this last year!  We have some "holes" to fix...but the focus is a long-term lifestyle that delays pleasure for the greater result!  We thank our Heavenly Father for the wisdom, knowledge and guidance He is giving us through our wise counsel to walk by faith beyond what our eyes can see! 
We are excited about the changes the Lord is leading us in...and more excited about the opportunities He is giving us! 
We have been contacted by several people wanting to know if we felt led to share our story and/or write a book - and we are so excited to bring Hope to the hurting through the opportunities the Lord opens in His Perfect Timing!  We will "wait and work with Him!"...and the Victories we have experienced are only in preparation for the next Victory - just as are the failures! We can only imagine the number of people, churches and communities that have held us up in prayer...and we look forward to giving back, thanking them for the love, support and prayers and encouraging all of those and more who have stood beside us!  We are praying right now about where and when...and feel led to schedule 9 speaking opportunities this year (2010), where we have the opportunity to encourage people to Keep their Eyes on Jesus!
We have finely tuned our schedule to create opportunities and windows for time to write, study and prepare for these events - while staying focused on our call and ministry with the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association!  God is speaking, we are listening...and our feet are fitted with the readiness that comes from the Gospel of Peace!  [Ephesians 6:15]

We are excited - scared to death...but absolutely excited about where, what, when and how the Lord is leading!  Please continue to reinforce the foundation of prayer as the Spirit leads you...and stand on the Promises of God!  Greater things are yet to come! 

All Eyes on Jesus! 

[Resting in the stillness before discharge]

[Talk about being shocked-our baby is coming home!]

[Ready for take off! Discharged: Sunday - March 14 @ 1:00pm!]

[Home Sweet Home!]

[Play Time Smile]

Seriously Ridiculous...

It was by faith that the people of Israel marched around Jericho for seven days, and the walls came crashing down.  [Hebrews 11:30]

Only the walls of the Glenn Surgery did not take seven days to come crashing down...just three! Do you believe in miracles? Do you believe in the power of prayer? Because God has heard our prayers, seen our tears and surely He has healed Jackson!

The news broke yesterday morning as we arrived at Children's Hospital...when the first whispers of the possibility of coming home today started! Today those whispers became a reality! To go from an open heart surgery...

to DISCHARGE...

in 72 hours...is Seriously Ridiculous! What typically can take weeks to recover...Jackson has experienced super-natural divine healing in only 3days! And our little warrior...is ready to go home! His vitals/sats/pressures have been perfectly awesome through out the weekend! He is eating like a champ! His chest x-rays are clear! And his echo this morning showed that the leak/insufficiency in his tricuspid valve is improving! The discharge papers are in the works, and we should be home early this afternoon! How awesome is our God!

Our last year has been insane:

• From my miraculous survival of a motorcycle accident through four flips and a life flight...to the finding of Kelly's pregnancy with Jackson - 3 days later!
• From selling our home in 3 hours after being placed on the market...to the miracle finding of Jackson's fatal heart defect (Hypo-plastic Left Heart Syndrome) - just two weeks later at Kelly's 18 week ultrasound!
• From the impossible move...to the Fetal Aortic Balloon Valvioplasty on Kelly - the same day as closing!
• From the 7 months of prayers, tears and pleas for healing in Jackson's heart as we "waited in the wilderness"...to the divine finding of our home - with the delivery just days away!
• From the c-section delivery...to the separation of mommy and baby - as an immediate life saving surgery needed to occur in Children's Hospital's Cath Lab hours after birth!
• From the first open heart surgery (the Norwood) to move Jackson's aorta to the right ventricle, place the B/T shunt and reconstruct the entire circulation of his blood...to be discharged less than a week later - only to return to the hospital over the Christmas Holiday, just 3 days later!
• From the 3 long months of isolation, waiting and stress of having a Norwood baby in our home, the weekly hospital visits and echos...to the complications of Jackson's Cardiac Cath in preparation for his second open-heart surgery (the Glenn).
• From the perfection/textbook Glenn surgery this past Thursday...to being discharged just three days later! 

I don't know about you, but I am exhausted just thinking about the last 12 months! But today...we took a deep breath...as we brought our little warrior home!  It has been crazy...but God's Crazy Love, Strength, Peace and Grace has protected, provided and performed miracles to countless to remember! This journey...is beyond words! And it is just the beginning...

I can't begin to tell you how warm and full our hearts our today! The mercies and blessings have been new every morning! One of the greatest blessings in this journey is the relationships that have been developed. And, over the last three days we have had some amazing conversations and reunions with Jackson's team of doctors and nurses! Our team has not only been a huge blessing in our family...but has become an amazing group of friends! We have had some very deep conversations in the midst of our journey, where we have been a shoulder for tears following the shock of a car accident, and prayer partners through a call to medical missions! These friendships have radically transformed our lives - and have been an awesome opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus...right here - right now!

But it was a conversation in the midst of the chaos in the CICU this past Friday, which may forever change our call to ministry! A guy about our age made a comment that Kel and I will never forget! He lives within a mile of our home [it is awesome how God choreographs this divine appointments, isn't it?] and has attended our home church - Northway Christian Community - several times with his wife, but transparently shared with us, "I am a horrible Christian! What I see everyday, has truly made me rethink what I believe about our God." And all I can say to God is "thank you for teeing this one up!"

Yall - I hope you realize the depth and breadth of his statement. I could write for days on what he unloaded in 3 seconds. What does it mean to be a Christian? Why do our fears, doubts, worries and questions make us "feel" horrible? What do we see everyday that causes us to stumble? And what is wrong with truly searching and coming to grips with what we believe in and about our God?

Everyday we see the devastation of a sinful nature and evil world! There is an enemy that wants nothing more than for us to buy into - and live - according to his lies, deception and temptation! And they are just that...lies, deceptions and temptations! But God! For we who believe in the death and resurrection of Christ Jesus - our Savior, Redeemer and Lord - do not have to be controlled by our sinful natures, and live according to this world! We can live above reproach - for there is Freedom and Power in the blood of Jesus! [if you don't believe me...please read the book of Romans. And then read Genesis through Revelation!]

I don't know why God has called us into this crazy, insane storm over the last year - or - what opportunities lay ahead for us to share God' miracle story of Waiting, Healing and Victory! I don't know why He chose Jackson, our family and you to walk by faith through the fierce wind, waves and seas of these last 12 months...but I do believe that God is Sovereign and that His Redemptive and Restorative plans are at work in our midst! This journey is no where near over! And everything leading up to this very moment - is all in preparation for the Greater Things that are Yet to Come!

Our little warrior has truly transformed our understanding of God's Seriously Ridiculous - Crazy Love, Grace, Majesty, Peace, Strength, Provision and Healing! We have all witnessed the devastation, tragedy, crisis, sorrow, pain and suffering of our imperfect world and physical bodies. And yet here we stand - by faith - through the shaking of our deepest sorrows and struggles, praising our Lord and Savior through the adversity and hardship! Jackson's life is a miracle of God...and a true witness to God's Victory and Healing! But, Jackson is not the only one who has experienced healing through this journey! Many of you have shared the emotional, physical, mental and spiritual healing you have experienced as you have walked with us through this storm! And now...it is time to "launch"!

Kelly and I have prayed/are praying through so many visions, dreams, thoughts, and opportunities - and we are ready to Go! Tomorrow morning - we will follow God's lead and launch the first "devotional" on our new blog site...www.alleyesonjesus.org! We will continue to regularly update Jackson's and our family's progress here at the Barrett Journey...but be sure to check out our new ministry launch tomorrow! And this is just the first step...we will see where God takes us next!

"Yes - what we see every day may cause us to question and doubt our belief in God - but what do you do with the miracle of Jackson?" This response was not only for our new friend in the CICU...but for you as well! Do you believe in Christ Jesus? Have you accepted Him not only as Savior - but as Lord? What do you believe about His healing and miracle of life? I don't know your response - for it is your decision - but, I do know ours...God you have taught us and told us that in Christ - we will have peace and strength - and in Him is hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge! Yes - in this world we will have trouble. But we take heart! For [Christ] has overcome the world...when God raised Him to life on the third day! We press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. [Psalm 29:11, Colossians 2:3, John 16:33, Acts 10:40, Philippians 3:14]

Are you going to allow God to draw you closer through the struggles and hardship...or you going to yet again turn your back and walk away? Are you searching for answers? If so, than go directly to the source of All Truth and open up the Word! Today - make that decision to forget the past and receive the heavenly prize as you fix your eyes on Jesus - and press on to reach the greater things that are yet to come!

And just so you know...as I push "publish now" on this post - the discharge papers are done, the order is in - and we are going home!!!

Thank you...for standing with us, reinforcing our foundation of prayer, and loving us in ways we have never known! We love you...we are praying for you...and hope that today - is a new day in your life!

All Eyes on Jesus!

The Day After...

You faithfully answer our prayers with awesome deeds,

O God our savior.

You are the hope of everyone on earth,

even those who sail on distant seas.

You formed the mountains by your power

and armed yourself with mighty strength.

You quieted the raging oceans

with their pounding waves

and silenced the shouting of the nations.

Those who live at the ends of the earth

stand in awe of your wonders.

From where the sun rises to where it sets,

you inspire shouts of joy.

[Psalm 65:5-8]

And yet in the shouts of joy...we stand in awe, as God continues to move mountains!

As we walked into the Cardiac ICU this morning - after a great night of rest - we were amazed that Jackson was off all IV meds. His Arterial/A-line and IJ (Inter-Jugular) line were removed, and the team was in the process of "de-ICUing" Jackson - with the hopes to move him up to the Cardiac floor later tonight. He was resting comfortably at our moment of entrance...but soon reminded all of us of the extreme pain he is experiencing as he woke mad as a hornet! After many anxious minutes...that seemed like hours...he calmed down with the reminder that a growing boy wants to eat!  This was a huge hurdle to jump - as there can be many struggles with feedings following a surgery of this caliber.  But not our Jackson...he downed 4oz of pedialite in just minutes! 

After a 2hr nap...and continued "de-ICUing"...again the little man woke - this time...as mad as a whole nest of hornets with someone poking it with a stick!  He was not frustrated...he was down right angry! And this time - comfort was found in mommy's arms!  It had been more than 24 hours since we were able to hold our little miracle baby, and it was a sweet reunion!

4oz of pedialite did not cut it for our little big man - as he downed 6oz of pedialite in 20 minutes!  This demonstrated - not just to mommy and daddy, but to the entire team - that he was ready for the good stuff...and so "Good Start" was ordered! 

After an amazing morning of progress...the "shock and awe" came when the plan to possibly transition to the Cardiac floor was "moved up"!  The CICU and CT (Cardiothoracic) team declared him ready...and the prep was on!   As they packed his room, prepped him for transport...Kelly and I were overun with emotion and anxiety!  We were prepared for at least 3 days or a weekend in the ICU - not 26 hours!  But when God moves - HE moves!  And He gave us the Grace, Strength and Courage to take this step through our hesitation, and trust beyond what we could see or imagine! 

Truly - it was like the wedding day!  You know - the one you spent months planning and preparing.  The countless hours invested for "the day"!  And all of a sudden the day happens in all its glory, and somehow - so quickly - it turns into the "day after"!  This is why the greatest counsel we received during our engagement was to always remember..."you are not preparing for a wedding!  You are planning for marriage!" 
In the midst of the miracles - it is so easy to get caught up in the emotion of it all - and lose our focus!  Our focus must not be on the circumstances, expectations, unknowns, or uncertainties - but rather on the One who is always in our midst - our Great Redeemer and Restorer! 

And as Kelly and I prepared to move out of the ICU...this was the story of miraculous healing that was laid on our hearts: 

When Jesus returned to Capernaum several days later, the news spread quickly that he was back home.  Soon the house where he was staying was so packed with visitors that there was no more room, even outside the door. While he was preaching God’s word to them, four men arrived carrying a paralyzed man on a mat. They couldn’t bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, so they dug a hole through the roof above his head. Then they lowered the man on his mat, right down in front of Jesus.  Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralyzed man, “My child, your sins are forgiven.”
But some of the teachers of religious law who were sitting there thought to themselves, “What is he saying? This is blasphemy! Only God can forgive sins!”
Jesus knew immediately what they were thinking, so he asked them, “Why do you question this in your hearts? Is it easier to say to the paralyzed man ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or ‘Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk’? So I will prove to you that the Son of Man has the authority on earth to forgive sins.” Then Jesus turned to the paralyzed man and said, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and go home!”
And the man jumped up, grabbed his mat, and walked out through the stunned onlookers. They were all amazed and praised God, exclaiming, “We’ve never seen anything like this before!”  [Mark 2: 1-12, NLT]

"We've never seen anything like this before!"  is a response that we have heard time and time again in the last nine months of this journey - especially in the wake of his Fetal  Aortic Balloon Valvioplasty surgery, his miraculous recovery with the Norwood surgery, and now again setting a new standard with the Glenn!  There is no doubt that God's Hand of miraculous healing is upon Jackson...just as it was upon the paralyzed man who jumped up, grabbed his mat, and walked out through the stunned onlookers! 

However - there is a part of the story that I would love to know!  What about the day after...when the homeowner looked up to wonder why he was feeling the rain inside his living room.  I'd love to know his emotion and response when the aftermath of the miracle dripped on his dead!  Or the response from down the hall when he yelled to his wife..."there is a hole in our roof"! 

The last two days have been AWESOME!  However - the last 36 hours have been full of emotion, including ones we never knew before!  From fear to joy!  Difficulty to calm!  Unknown to peace!  Uncertainty to clarity!  Shaken to rest!  And tonight...as we sit in the stillness and the silence of a familiar place - we realize the hole in our roof...and trust that in this too - God will provide our every need!  He has taught us, stretched us, pushed us, pulled us to places we never knew possible...but then again - He has been turing the impossible into reality since the dawn of Creation!

Tonight...we are tired!  We are worn out!  We are whooped!  Our feet, minds and bodies are sore...but our hearts are full!  Full of His Love, Joy, Peace and Strength!  We still "feel" like tattered sails...but somehow He continues to move us beyond what our bodies can feel to places our eyes can't see!  He is Awesome!  He is Faithful!  He is Love! And in Him...there is Peace and Rest!

All Eyes on Jesus! 



Here are some picture moments of our last 36 hours: 

{The Calm before the Storm}

{What are they doing to me mom?}

{The Hallelujah Moment}

{No mask could ever hide the beauty of a miracle}

{This warrior has gone to battle!}

{These two have been through a lot over the last year}

{A mommy's vigil}

{Victory!}

Victory!

"Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?  No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us."  [Romans 8:35-37]

"Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has become a child of God. And everyone who loves the Father loves his children, too. We know we love God’s children if we love God and obey his commandments. Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome. For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. And who can win this battle against the world? Only those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God!"  [1 John 5:1-5]

We stand in awe...as our Lord God Almighty reigns!  And through His Son - our Risen Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus - there is Victory! 

The news broke around 11:00am, when we first spoke with Dr. Morell - who in his own words said..."there is not a whole to say!"  And in that...there is a lot we can say!  Our God is the Great Physician, Healer and Redeemer!  He is the Resurrection and the Life!  And though the doctors/surgeon's may be speechless - Jackson continues to be a testimony to His Healing, Hope and the Full and Abundant Life we have in Him!  And as I sit here "cribside"...all the nurses and doctors can say is, "he is doing remarkable!" 
The surgery was "textbook", perfect and without flaw!  Christ truly used Dr. Morell and our team of surgeons, doctors and nurses to perform His miracle this morning!  It was seamless, smooth and complete within an hour and half!  Jackson recovered for an hour...and when we entered his CICU room, this is how we found him: 

[I guess we are not the only ones raising our hands in Praise of our Heavenly Father's miracle!]

He looks great!  His post-op labs are wonderful!  His saturation levels and vitals are perfect!  The drainage off the heart has slowed, and he is resting comfortably! 

The only concern at this point is that his body temperature is a little low, and they are working to get him warmed up - with lots of blankets and heating pads!  I guess he got use to the sub freezing temperatures and 3 feet of snow we had over the last 3 months of his life - and his body does not know how to respond to the 60 degrees and sunshine we are experiencing here today in the 'burgh!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains

Hope that doesn’t ever end

Even when the sky is falling

And I’ve seen miracles just happen

Silent prayers get answered

Broken hearts become brand new

That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard

Impossible is not a word

It’s just a reason for someone not to try

Everybody’s scared to death

When they decide to take that step

Out on the water

It’ll be alright

Life is so much more

Than what your eyes are seeing

You will find your way

If you keep believing*

 

Continue believing!  Hold on to the peace, hope and strength that surpasses all understanding!  And please continue to reinforce the foundation of prayer and praise - as we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus!

*Lyrics from "What Faith Can Do" by Kutless

The WAIT continues...and update from the O.R.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." [Phillipians 4:4-7]

As we sit here in the Wait...there is a peace, strength and rest that is surpassing all understanding!  It is still, calm and silent - except for the praise and worship music that we are playing on my laptop, and the occasional passer by!  Thank God for iTunes and the witness of His music!

The nurse just stopped in to give us a quick update from the O.R!  Dr. Morell started Jackson's surgery at 8:45am, after an hour of normal preparations (geneal anesthesia, central line, IV, etc).   Jackson is currently on the heart/lung by-pass machine, and vitals remain stable!  Things are going well so far - however we still have another hour to go!

Kelly and I are enjoying great conversation, time of prayer and cups of coffee/hot chocolate together! 

All Eyes on Jesus!

The Wait is on...morning update!

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you."  [Deuteronomy 31:6]

No matter how intense the battle, how hard the struggle, how gripping the storm or overwhelming the fear...be strong and courageous is the charge - because the Lord God Almighty reigns and goes with us! 

Morning Update: 
We were surpised abundantly through out the night and early morning!  We both received great rest - though it be only 4hrs!  Jackson slept well...and both mommy and daddy had some very wonderful quiet moments of prayer with baby Jackson in the early morning hours during pedialite bottles in preparation for the surgery! 
Our "getting around" went peacefully...and the first miracle of the morning occured at 5:15am!  Kelly and I were ready to go!  Can you believe that?  We were actually early!  Then the second miracle occured...an angel showed up in our driveway with a home-made fruit smoothie for Kelly, who has not been able to eat well due to her struggles with her jaw.  How awesome is our God - supplying for our every need!  His mercies are new every morning! 
We arrived and registered at 6:15am...and Jackson was prepped ready to go by 7:15.  He was a little fussy and hungry...but he was strong!  Here was the moment that gripped my hear this morning as Jackson snuggled in his favorite place - mommy's arms!  He knows where to look for strength, peace and rest in the midst of a storm!  The faith of his mother! 

[Sorry for the small image - I grabbed this pic with my blackberry!]

And at 7:45am we walked down the hall and handed our little big man over to our team of doctors, nurses, surgeons and our Healer! He was fussy heading back to the OR, but strong! Mommy and Daddy are again in a familiar spot with familiar faces-waiting in the CICU!

It is now time to be still!  Do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord God Almighty reigns and is with us! 

All eyes on Jesus!

"I AM with you"...

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
He burns the shields with fire.

"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
[Psalm 46, NIV]


Tonight...as we again prepare our minds for battle tomorrow...this psalm is our heart's cry and prayer! For in the Stillness, lies all Truth! Heavenly Father, bless and exalted your name through your miraculous works tomorrow in Jackson life! Lord - I believe you are our Healer! You have brought us to this very moment, and you are our Deliverer! Our Rescue! Our Refuge! Our Hope! Our Life! Our Fortress! Our Provision and Portion! Lord - you have gone before us, and though we walk through this Valley of sorrow and suffering in the shadow of death - nothing is impossible for you! Nothing...shock and awe us - and let your Amazing Grace abound! Forever and ever... Amen!

The preparations over the last two weeks have been intense, hectic, and crazy...but here we are! On the eve of yet another miracle! The stress has been overwhelming at times; Fear has thrown doubt and deception in our face...but we stand firm on the Promise of Full and Abundant Life in the Freedom and Power through the Blood of Jesus! This has been the longest three months of our lives...but the day is finally here! The stage is set and the Glenn surgery is about to be knocked out yall!

We leave for the hospital at 5:30am, as Jackson is the first case of the day! He should be prepped and ready to go by 7:30am. We will then hand Jackson over to the anesthesiologist and continue to place him in God's Hands and Wonderful Care! He will be under general anesthesia, placed on a ventilator, and then the team of surgeons - led by Dr. Victor Morell - will begin the open-heart surgery. They will go right back through the same incision site, removing the stainless steel wires, opening the chest, and place Jackson on the heart/lung by pass machine - with the hope of NOT having to stop his heart, as was the case with the Norwood Surgery three months ago. The surgical procedure should take no more than two hours...and we should know how things went mid-morning. The Glenn surgery is the second open heart surgery in the series of three - where Jackson's current B-T shunt will be removed and replaced by the Glenn Shunt. The Glenn shunt will connect the Superior Vena Cava directly to the pulmonary artery, allowing for a more effective and complete circulation of oxygenated blood to the brain and upper extremities. This will also remove about 25% of the volume and work load off of the right ventricle (which is the only functioning ventricle) - hopefully improving the Tricuspid Valve's current leak. It is not as evasive as the previous Norwood Surgery...however - there are many risks, and though no one wants or likes to talk about the white elephant in the room - its there! The greatest risks include death, stroke, infection, bleeding, etc...But God! And He alone is our Hope and point of focus!

We will keep you updated through out the day here on the blog...and I will also try my best to catch you up on the bumps, twists and turns of the Cardiac Cath last week - that landed Jackson in the hospital for three days with two heparin treatments and a blood transfusion! Not fun or expected...but our Heavenly Father is the giver of great and perfect gifts in the midst of adveristy!


Specific Prayer Requests:

1. Rest! Physically - we are absolutely exhausted! We are spent! But somehow...God gives us the strength and energy to take the next step (one step at a time) that goes beyond all understanding!

2. Healing! Jackson is not the only person being healed through this journey...but, we ask specifically for physical healing in Jackson's life tomorrow!

3. Peace! There is nothing harder than being separated from those you love - and we desperately miss Carter and Jordyn already! They are spending the night and day with my brother, and then heading to the farm with "Grandma and Grandpa Deer" (Carter's naming of my mom and dad!) for the weekend. Both Carter and Jordyn are battling colds - and emotions! Carter is fully aware of what is taking place tomorrow, and suffering well! He is worried and anxious...but continues to set the example in his prayers for his baby brother! Jordyn - well she just knows she is not the center of attention any more, and the transition at age 2 has been tough on all of us! She has such a passion for life...and her baby Jack Jack! I am not sure Jackson has received more kisses from one individual than he has from his big sis!

4. Victory! And opportunities to share His Story! It is not Jackson that is at the center of this Journey...but Christ Alone! And in Him - there is Victory!

So troops, are you ready? It is time for battle...time to soldier up! Continue to reinforce that foundation of prayer, and praise Him! Keep the attitude of worship at all times - and let His mercies, grace and power reign in, over and through your life! We love you so much...and we will never be able to express in words how your prayers, encouragement and love have truly lifted us in this walk! The River of Joy is here...let us fix our eyes on Him!

And in the stillness, remember...If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.
Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 
No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.  [Romans 8: 31-39, NLT]

All Eyes on Jesus!