[Jesus] saw that they - his disciples - were in serious trouble, rowing hard and struggling against the wind and waves. So He came towards them, walking on the water. He intended to go past them, but when they saw him walking on the water, they cried out in terror thinking he was a ghost.
They were all terrified when they saw him.
[Mark 6: 48-50, NLT, emphasis mine]
In Matthew 14: 26 it reads...When the disciples saw Him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, "It's a ghost!" I have read this scripture time and time again - and like never before it spoke to me this morning. We have all been through "storms" in life! We have all faced the wind and waves coming against us. And in many cases - we have relied on our own strength in "rowing" to get us through the storm and arrive in a safe place.
We know that Peter and his brother Andrew, and James and his brother John were fishing as Jesus called them to be his disciples. And as young fishermen, I would imagine that this was not the first storm they have ever faced on the water. They may have been anxious as they were caught in this storm, but it was not the "serious trouble" of the wind and the waves that terrified them...it was seeing their Lord in a brand new, miraculous perspective that caught them off guard and caused them to react out of their fear. Not recognizing Jesus by sight or experience...it was the sound of His voice that shifted their focus!
Jesus spoke to them at once. "Don't be afraid. Take courage. I am here!"
Then Peter called to him, "Lord, IF it is really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water."
"Yes, come!" Jesus replied.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. BUT when he saw the strong wind and the waves he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he shouted.
Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. "You have so little faith," Jesus said. "Why did you doubt me?"
[Matthew 14: 27-31, NLT, emphasis mine]
And there is the core question. Why do we doubt Him? Why do we not Trust Him - and Him alone! Why must we always look at "reality" - even with a new perspective - and begin to rely on our own strength and abilities to walk against the trouble we face. We may not recognize Him by sight, and often times He moves in ways that we have never seen, heard, experienced or imagined. But - IF - we are going to walk by faith through the storms of life, we must learn to respond to our Savior's voice rather than react out of our fear. Peter responded to our Lord's voice, by surrendering to Him - recklessly abandoning - his identity, circumstances and past success in overcoming "serious trouble" as a fisherman. Peter risked it all, stepping out of the boat as a disciple and walked on water!
A year ago - following 3 months of prayer, discernment and preparation with our wise counsel - we responded by faith to our Savior's voice. It is hard to believe, but it was exactly one year ago on June 15th that the "For Sale" sign went up in the front yard. And I will never forget the call - 3 hours after the first showing - when our realtor let us know that the house was under contract, for more than list price! When God moves...He moves!
But we don't overlook or undervalue the 3 months of intense prayer that laid the foundation to get our feet wet and respond to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. That house was a place of identity, security, and success - and yet God asked us to recklessly abandon ourselves and our circumstances - why? Only He knows! He intended to pass by...and asked us to walk with Him! So we did...and it was not until 3 weeks later that we found out that Jackson had hypo-plastic left heart syndrome!
What a year it has been...a year of incredible blessing, unbelievable growth, unfathomable miracles, and a great deepening of relationship, as His seriously ridiculous love has been poured out upon our family through intense struggle and serious trouble! When the voice of our Savior calls us to step out, we must willingly, by faith, respond with reckless abandon - surrendering it all to Him! People won't understand? They will question you? They will call you crazy and tell you how poor of choice you have made? There are plenty of comments from the boat, but it is not between you and them? It is between you and your Heavenly Father!
So I ask...are you responding by faith to the sound of our Savior's voice? Are you willing to risk it all...and step out? Or - are we still reacting out of our fears and doubts, falling into the trap of relying on our own abilities and strategies to move towards what we believe to be "higher ground"? God may be calling us to the impossible and the unthinkable...will we respond by faith or react out of fear! Will we jump overboard and walk miraculously - by faith, trust, and His strength? Or will we stay in the boat - relying on our own vision, strategy, plan and "rowing abilities"? BUT...
when he [Peter] saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he shouted.
Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. "You have so little faith," Jesus said. "Why did you doubt me?"
[Matthew 14: 29-31, NLT, emphasis mine]
And I can't begin to count the number of times Jesus has reached out and grabbed me - immediately - in this last year alone! I/We have by no means walked with Him through this storm "perfectly"! But Praise God for His Grace, Love and Mercy! Amen?
Don't get me wrong...His rebuke is strong. It is clear. And only out of Love! He loves us so much that He set the example! He willingly sacrificed it all on the Cross, so that we too would not drown in our sin...but rather be saved, and become more like Him! For IF we believe in our heart and confess with our mouth that He is LORD - over all, in all and through all - we will be saved! That is the Promise of Romans 10...Anyone who trusts in the Lord will not be put to shame! He richly blesses all who call on Him, and everyone who calls on the Name of Jesus will be saved!
You do not know when His voice will come to you, but whenever the realization of God comes, even in the faintest way imaginable, be determined to recklessly abandon yourself, surrendering everything to Him. [Oswald Chambers, My Upmost for His Highest, emphasis mine]
Family Update:
I have been longing to write for so long now...but man life is busy with 3 kids! It is absolutely amazing how quickly days move with the energy, joy, and activity of a 5 year old, 2 year old, and a 6 month old! It is nuts...and I am not the one who is home everyday with our 3 awesome blessings! The transition from "man to man" defense to "zone" [now that mommy and daddy are out numbered] has been hard, yall! Seriously! It has been so overwhelming, especially now that I am back to a "full load" of ministry travel. The last month has been intense, and full of activity! Many new adventures have begun and some have come to a close! BUT God is so good...and so full of Grace!
Jackson...
Is a goof ball! He is absolutely hilarious! He is so alert, so attentive, and yet can be so easily distracted! He is definitely a "rock star" and continues to defy all odds! He was at the Cardiologist at the end of May, and is doing so well - that he will not have another appointment until August! The tricuspid valve is still leaking mild to moderately, but the right ventricle is strengthening - and the overall function of his heart is improving. The left ventricle is still not functioning at all, but the surgical re-circulation seems to be doing very well! He is still running oxygen levels in the upper 70's/low 80's [where a normal person/4-chamber functioning heart would be high 90's or 100] and the team of doctors would love to see that number improve, and hope that following the third open-heart surgery it will. But we continue to wait and trust in God's miraculous healing! We know that every smile, every laugh, and every moment is a true blessing and miracle...and even through the moments of frustration, exhaustion and disappointment...Jackson is a precious gift from God!
Is a goof ball! He is absolutely hilarious! He is so alert, so attentive, and yet can be so easily distracted! He is definitely a "rock star" and continues to defy all odds! He was at the Cardiologist at the end of May, and is doing so well - that he will not have another appointment until August! The tricuspid valve is still leaking mild to moderately, but the right ventricle is strengthening - and the overall function of his heart is improving. The left ventricle is still not functioning at all, but the surgical re-circulation seems to be doing very well! He is still running oxygen levels in the upper 70's/low 80's [where a normal person/4-chamber functioning heart would be high 90's or 100] and the team of doctors would love to see that number improve, and hope that following the third open-heart surgery it will. But we continue to wait and trust in God's miraculous healing! We know that every smile, every laugh, and every moment is a true blessing and miracle...and even through the moments of frustration, exhaustion and disappointment...Jackson is a precious gift from God!
He has begun to move...but not crawl! He rolls all over the place. We will put him down on the floor, and two minutes later find him having rolled clear across the room to a toy or sibling he wanted! He loves playing with Carter and Jordyn - and to see their relationships developing as brother and sister is an absolute hoot! Carter is the protective big brother - always showing compassion, care and concern...then you have Jordyn who just wants Jackson to get up and chase her around the house! But can the three of them ever get to laughing...it is hilarious! And Carter still has the gift to get Jackson "belly laughing"!
Jackson is now weighing over 17lbs (to the shock of his doctors, nurses and parents)! He is a big boy - especially considering his big sister only weights 25lbs! But then again, Jordyn is a peanut! Jackson loves to eat, and we have transitioned him to baby food in the last month. Praise God - because he was blowing out our budget with the amount of Formula he was going through! The boy can eat...
But overall...he is doing great! And his crooked smile brightens even the darkest day!
{Look out world...here I come!}
Carter...
One of the greatest blessings as a daddy, is to see the ways in which God is working in and through your children! On June 2 - Carter (aka: "Bubba") graduated from Eden Christian Academy's pre-school program. And as we watched our little man recite scripture from memory, sing praise songs and interact with peers and teachers...it was a day full of joy, blessing and yes - tears! We are so incredibly proud of Bubba, and he is truly growing into an awesome Child of God!
Every year during the Graduation Ceremony, Mrs. Koster - Carter's teacher for the last two years - gives Character Awards to conclude the program. Each award is prayed over and highlights a specific character trait that each student exemplifies. Last year - Carter received the "gentleman's award" for the example that he set in and out of the classroom in his care, compassion and support to his female classmates and teachers. (It was a very proud moment for mommy and daddy, especially, as this is something that we focus on in our home - and to see others recognizing it was a great encouragement to Kel and I).
So the night before graduation, Kelly and I were praying over Carter and sharing what Character Award we believe Bubba would receive. We thought maybe Faith, Prayer Warrior or the Leader award...because of the way that we have encouraged and seen Bubba "setting the example in faith, love, life, speech and purity." [1 Timothy 4;12]
Then the moment came...Carter was last to receive his award, and the tears were flowing before Mrs. Koster even spoke a word. Wendy - Mrs. Koster - has been walking every step of the way with us through the last year, and has been such a blessing and encouragement not just to Carter, but to our entire family! She even incorporated "All Eyes on Jesus" as a theme for her classes this year! And when Carter received the Ambassador Award from her...I am not sure we could have ever been prepared for that moment! For Mrs. Koster too see the example that Carter is setting for all those he comes into contact with. His Faith, his Prayers, his Leadership, and his understanding and handling of the Word of God is truly unbelievable...and the scripture Mrs. Koster used to pray over and encourage Carter was from 2 Timothy 2:15..."Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." It is truly awesome what God can do through a heart and life that is surrendered to Him - and we are so excited about what God is doing in and through Carter!
{Our Little Ambassador!}
Princess Jordyn...as she now affectionately refers to herself...is sweet and spunk all wrapped up in one bundle of energy! She is a hoot, and keeps us on our toes at all times! You should have seen her yesterday at the park, playing, picking and teasing the boys! Jordyn's passion for life is contagious! She is a mover and shaker...and is a force to be reckoned with! She knows what she wants...no doubt about that!
Jordyn is growing leaps and bounds everyday in her communication, vocabulary and personality! She will say things that leave Kelly and I speechless, and wondering where in the world did she get that from. it is hard to believe she is only 2, and interestingly...the compassion, concern and protection that she demonstrates for others is awesome! You should see the way she cares for Jackson! It is so awesome! And Bubba and her are inseparable right now! They have a very strong relationship - which is such a blessing to us!
She still struggles at night though...and prayers for her sleep and rest would be very much appreciated. She has a very high need of security and still is not sleeping in her own room, by herself. This last year has left its mark on her, and though kids are very resilient - the are forever changed in the wake of a storm. I don't think we always are willing to realize the impact our choices and circumstances have on our children. Kelly and I are learning to become more aware of our influence and impact on our kids every day. We too must set the example in our faith, life, love, speech and purity!
{Princess Jordyn}
And speaking of Kelly and Doug, we are doing well - at least we think so! Every day has its struggles, but I can't begin to share the power and blessing that lies in a marriage focused in prayer! Kelly and I continue to wrap each other in prayer daily...and God continues to move powerfully through the prayers we offer on behalf of each other! We are stronger today than ever before...and more united with Christ in our individual relationship and marriage than what we were heading into this past year! Struggle is real...and surrender is the answer! We can never compromise Truth, and we must always be willing to surrender to Him! Kel and I have found the transformational promise of Psalm 37:4, that as we draw close to Him, He will give us the desires of our heart! You want to talk about impact...your marriage and relationships will be transformed as you draw close to Him, and you start living the desires He gives you! Its awesome...promise!
Well...that was one long/over-due update! Thank you again for the grace, strength, love and support you have demonstrated through your prayers, encouragement and gifts! There is no way we could ever describe in words the appreciation and love that we have for you! Thank you for continuing to reinforce the foundation of prayer...and for recklessly abandoning the pleasures of this world to follow the Voice of our Savior!
All eyes on Jesus!
