The Battle Plan...

…I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again.  For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD.  “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  In those days when you pray, I will listen.

[Jeremiah 29:10-12, NLT]

I don’t know what the emotion of Monday morning will hold – as we are a little more than 24 hours from putting Jackson on the “altar” yet again.  I know we have experienced the depth of emotion twice before, but there are so many things we forget...


But I do know our emotion tonight… “confident”.  Not in our preparation.  Not in our knowledge.  Not in our wisdom.  Not in our experience or the comfort, security and familiarity of having been down similar circumstances before.  Not in the physical skill of our surgical team – though they are the best!  And especially not in our own strength or abilities.  Tonight, we are “confident in our stillness”.  We are confident in the presence, promise and power of our God – who indeed KNOWS THE PLAN!


When we packed for the trip north a couple of weeks ago, I really wanted to bring several books in my library - but yielded to the tug of the Holy Spirit to only bring 1 book - in addition to my Bible.  And so Experiencing God by Dr. Henry Blackaby has been the book that I have been studying and praying through this week, in order to align my thinking and perspective to God's in the midst of this valley.  Prayer and study of the scriptures are where Kelly and I find confidence as we "walk with God" through this storm!  

In my prayer/study time with God this week...here are the three key truths that have brought great encouragement.  

We trust that "God is Love" and that His Will is ALWAYS best!  [1 John 4:16] 

I agree with Dr. Blackaby that "this verse does not say that God loves, though He does love perfectly and unconditionally.  The Scripture says that God's essential nature is love.  God will never act contrary to His nature.'  (Experiencing God, page 21, emphasis mine).  And this Perfect Love of God overcame the troubles that we currently are - have in the past - and will face in the future!  We must hold tightly to the promise of Christ that in this world we will have troubles, but we are to take heart, being confident that God is Love, for Jesus has overcome this world by laying down His life on the Cross!  [John 16:33 and 1 John 4:9]

We trust that "God is all-knowing" and that His Directions are ALWAYS right!  He does not need to counsel with Garmin before making a turn.  He is not "re-calculating".  We never have to question His Will!  He knows what He is going to do...

We trust that "God is all-powerful" and that He can and will enable us to do His Will!  I believe one of the most mis-quoted/mis-interpreted verses in the bible is Philippians 4:13.  We all know it..."I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".  And many use this scripture as encouragement for those facing difficult circumstances to say that the impossible is always possible.  Or that God can do all things.  But that is simply not true.  God will never act outside of His Perfect, Holy Nature or Will.  

I believe that God will engage, encourage and equip us to do all things - in accordance to His good, pleasing and perfect Will - through Christ who is our strength!  [Romans 12:2 and Hebrews 13:21]  The impossible is impossible...if it is outside of the Will of God!  But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me according to the Will of God - even the impossible from human perspective.

We must believe that if He calls us to it...He will walk us through it!  And that is exactly what He is currently doing in our journey.  We are walking with God, and He hears our prayers, and sees are tears and will carry us through in His Perfect Love!  And our response must be one of trust.  For it is our responsibility is to listen and obey Him!  

My wise counsel once shared with me that the way to "walk by faith" is to "listen and obey".  Y'all - its time to walk by faith!  The Battle is on, and here is the "Battle Plan" that God has unfolded in the last 24 hours for Jackson's surgery on Monday.  

The Battle Plan:

We talked with the surgical team yesterday afternoon, but it took us 24 hours to get our heads and hearts around what they are going to attempt Monday morning.  We have a tremendous sense of peace and confidence with God's plan, and here is what we are facing...

• Jackson's surgery is scheduled to begin at 8:30am - he is the first and only case scheduled for Dr Morell on Monday.  
• Dr Morell and his team will begin the surgery by focusing their attention on "attempting to repair" Jackson's tricuspid valve, which is the valve separating the right atrium and right ventricle (the only two functioning chambers in Jackson's heart).  
• The tricuspid valve has been leaking since Jackson's second open heart surgery at 3 months old in March of 2010, but the leak has been increasing/worsening over the last 18 months and Thursday's Cardiac Cath showed a "significant" or "moderate" leak that must be addressed 
• On a scale of 1-5 with 5 being the worse/most severe, the surgeon classifies Jackson's as a 4  
• The surgical team shared with me yesterday that there is not a "fix" per say, but rather they will attempt to repair the valve with the hope of "significantly improving" it's function and increasing the overall efficiency of the right ventricle, which is now pumping all of Jackson's blood to his body. 
• After, addressing the tricuspid valve, Dr Morrell also plans to complete the Fontan Surgery, where he will connect the lower extremities return blood (Inferior Vena Cava) directly to the lungs (Pulmonary Artery).  
• This is the anticipated final stage of 3 stages in the re-engineering of Jackson's heart. 

Dr Morell and his team anticipate a 4-6 hour surgery, and a 10-14 day recovery period.  They will not be pressed for time on Monday, but know that the longer they have Jackson on ECMO (heart lung by-pass machine) the longer the recovery, and higher the risk of complete heart failure and infection.  

When I spoke with the team yesterday afternoon,  I did ask how we (including you) could be praying for Dr Morell and his team. They were so grateful that I asked, and told me, "they will take all they prayer they can get!"  I shared that we would be praying specifically for wisdom, clarity, decisiveness, and confidence in the Battle Plan, as I believe God will be working through their hands and minds on Monday morning! 

As we continue to "Be Still and Know that He is God" this weekend on the banks of a"flooded Jordan", I ask that you please pray for our family's rest, Kelly's health (as she is struggling terribly with allergies), Jackson's strength and our continued peace as we "wait on our Lord". Our specific supplication, and ask is....

"May He grant your heart’s desires

and make all your plans succeed. May we shout for joy when we hear of Your victory and raise a victory banner in the name of our God.

May the LORD answer all your prayers." 

[Psalm 20:4, 5 NLT]

We trust that His Presence will be whatever we need it to be!  The Will of God can never take us where the Grace of God cannot protect us!

This is God's journey!  God's story!  God's victory!  And it is God's promise that He will not fail us or abandon us!  He is with us every step of the way! (Joshua 1:5)

Continue to keep All Eyes on Jesus, and know that there are no words to express the depth of Kelly and my appreciation for your prayers!  To God be the Glory...

The Spies...

"Then Joshua secretly sent out two spies from the Israelite camp at Acacia Grove. He instructed them, “Scout out the land on the other side of the Jordan River, especially around Jericho.”

[Joshua 2:1 NLT]

Did you ever wonder why Joshua sent in the spies?  Think about it...

Just moments before Joshua sends out the two spies, the LORD spoke to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ assistant. He said, “Moses my servant is dead. Therefore, the time has come for you to lead these people, the Israelites, across the Jordan River into the land I am giving them. I promise you what I promised Moses: ‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you." [Joshua 1:1-3 NLT]

Here is how I imagine the scene unfolding...[Joshua 1:9]
The LORD spoke [with that deep Charlton Heston voice] "Joshua, be strong and courageous".   Immediately, Joshua crouched down.
The LORD spoke again, "Joshua, be strong and courageous".
Timidly, Joshua straightened up.
The LORD spoke a third time..."Joshua, this is My command to you - be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the I AM is with you wherever you go.”
And at that very moment, Joshua arose!  And in response to God's initiative, he does an immediate about face and gives the command to the officers of Israel to tell the people, "get ready.  Its go time!"

So why send in the spies? God did not tell him to during their "Come to Jesus meeting" in Chapter 1.  No, it says that he secretly sent in the spies.  Why?

I believe it is what spiritual leaders do - they prepare by "waiting patiently"!  I believe experience and a great mentor taught him the value in the process of discernment - remember, he was selected as a leader by Moses to go into the Promised Land, as a spy, 40 years before in Numbers 13.  But most importantly, I believe the wisdom of God led him, as he and God's people stood face to face with impossible obstacles on the battlefield.  I believe it was Joshua's desire to frame the problem and probe for perspective, before  providing direction as to "the how" of moving God's people onto God's agenda! Joshua sending in the spies was not a reaction cocooned in unbelief. It was a response of faith ,and I believe a spiritual statement that said..."battle on"!

That's what this morning's Cardiac (Heart) Cath was all about.  We sent in the "spies" - 2 of them to be exact, one from thru the groin and one thru the neck.  And our desire was to...
(1) Frame the Problem.  Give clarity as to the obstacles we face on Monday.
(2) Probe for Perspective - Determine what actually is taking place internally, behind enemy lines.

Today's Cath provided great clarity and insight. The numbers/pressures in Jackson's lungs look "great"!  However - the leak over the tricuspid is "significant" and classified as "moderate". But both of these reports are encouraging! We receive this as good news!
Yea...the obstacles are huge!  And our team is still not 100% certain as to how they are going to address the leak over the tricuspid valve. We learned yesterday that attempts to repair the tricuspid valve are "rarely successful"...but the impossible is possible - IF it is the Will of God! So we ask (as the Lord our God encourages us) that His Will be done!

We are not certain what Monday will hold, but y'all...God is all over this!  Tomorrow Jackson's surgical team will create the battle plan...and we ask that you pray specifically for wisdom, oneness and confidence among our team.  Doubt has no place in the battle...including an open heart surgery!

Before I sign off for the night...I have to share one more "whisper of encouragement" that the Lord shared with me this afternoon as I prayed over the above scripture.  You know the great peripheral miracle of sending in the spies...Rahab and her household were saved!  The same Rahab who bore a son Boaz, who fathered Obed, who was King David's dad! Thus...you find Rahab in the lineage of our Savior, The Messiah - Christ Jesus!

God is ALWAYS at work! Continue to keep those eyes on Jesus...

[Jackson's definition of "waiting patiently" at 6:30am!  I did not have enough Starbucks yet...]

[One of the hilarious moments of our day was when Jackson was "loopy" from this cocktail.  Oh it was too funny...]

[This picture reminds me of  one of my favorite all time pictures of Jackson and Kelly, where she is praying over Jackson after his second open-heart surgery!  Kel is a Prayer Warrior...]

[As soon as Jackson woke, before he even opened his eyes he was asking for something to eat!]

[Jackson catching the updates from the NBA playoffs on SportsCenter]

[The only time that Jackson would lay still/sleep was when we played music in the recovery room.  Here he is sleeping to one of his favorites - "Hymns" by Rick Gallagher]

[After 6 hours of "waiting" we could not get his shoes on fast enough!  He was ready to go...and can anyone tell us why waiting is so exhausting?  We are whooped, and excited about a weekend of rest!]

Waiting quietly...

What blocks your awareness of God's presence?

This morning as Kelly and I wait patiently and quietly during Jackson's cath...this was the question that was laid upon our hearts and prayers. I agree with Sarah Young, Author of Jesus Calling, that "many things block our awareness, but the major culprit is worry. We, God's children, tend to accept worry as an inescapable fact of life. However, worry is a form of unbelief..."

So why do we worry? I believe there is a fine line, a delicate balance, between worry and concern. Worry versus responsibility. The bible says...

• "don't worry about tomorrow" (Matthew 6:34) 
• "can all your worries add a single moment to your life?" (Luke 12:25)
• "refuse to worry" (Ecclesiastes 11:10) 
• "give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you!" (1 Peter 5:7)

I believe we worry, because we are confused who is in charge of this thing we call "life". Who is in charge of your life? I know that is a tough and pressing question...it was to me too this morning, when the Lord asked.

If we have learned anything in Jackson's journey...it is this truth: God is Love, God is all-knowing, God is all-powerful! And the loving, all knowing and all powerful God we serve is in control!   To this we raise our white flag and surrender yet again our son...

Worry is unnecessary and counterproductive to God's Will! When we start to feel anxious about the obstacles, trouble, circumstances or adversity we face...we must relinquish and surrender again - and again. In this world we will have trouble, but take heart! For Jesus overcame...(John 16:33)

This morning, we believe that God is in the Cath Lab with Jackson, taking care of the problem(s) or showing His team how to handle it on Monday! Our prayer as we wait here this morning continues to be that of Psalm 62:5...

Almighty God, let all that I am wait quietly before You. For my hope is in You alone! 

 All eyes on Jesus!

In the Crosshairs...

What a long day...

We arrived at Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh at 1:00pm, and never left until after 4:30pm.  But through it all - Jackson was awesome!  He truly is a different kid when he is interacting with the doctors - calm, peaceful, still, "please and thank-you's" to all the nurses, techs and doctors - maybe it has something to do with the stickers!  It truly is amazing and an incredible demonstration of God at work in Jackson's life, as we already see the Lord forming relationships in and through Jackson that we hope one day will provide him the opportunity to share the truth about what God has done in healing his heart and giving him life!  

First thing this afternoon, Jackson was square in the Crosshairs for a chest x-ray...

Then it was time for an EKG...

And then Jackson decided to listen to his own heart...and of course he gave his first diagnosis!  "Hot Dog!"

Overall, it was a really good day!  It was wonderful to see and reconnect with our team of surgeons, doctors and staff who have truly become family over the last 3 years!  The team could not believe the size and strength in Jackson, just upon observing him for a few minutes.  But like cancer - one may look great and be a physical specimen on the outside - but internally, a completely different story is unfolding...and that was the case today for Jackson!  

Do not be deceived by appearances, the scriptures teach us...there is no doubt that Jack looks great!  But after gaining an internal perspective from the chest x-ray, EKG and Echo - the team at CHP is very concerned about the leak over Jackson's Tricuspid valve.  We/they have been watching this leak for the last 2 years following his last open heart surgery, but today they were surprised by how the leak has increased in just the past few months.  

A year and a half ago, when we moved to Charlotte, our Cardiologist in Pittsburgh had already determined that a "mild to moderate" leak had formed over the tricuspid valve.  When we arrived in Charlotte in November of 2010, our new cardiologist determined it was a "moderate" leak, and reminded us that the determination is purely subjective. Well today...the team at CHP determined that it is "moderate to severe".  They were not pleased at all, and tomorrow's heart cath will be HUGE in determining what the next steps are for Jackson's care.  

So tomorrow...its "Game On"!  At 7:30am, Jackson will be placed under full anesthesia and a 3 hour heart cath will commence to determine the severity of that leak over the tri-cuspid valve, and to also look at the pressures in his lungs - to ensure that he is ready for Monday's Fontan surgery.  We will not play the "what if" game at this point...as we know that God was not surprised at all by today's findings!  It may have been a curve ball to us and the surgical team...but not to God!  

Tomorrow...we are "sending the spies into the promise land" to create a battle plan for Monday!  I ask that you join Kelly and I as we pray for our doctors and surgeons to have the eyes of Joshua and Caleb, and to see the obstacles clearly, but to move out by faith, and with confidence in Monday's surgical plan..whatever may or may not be found! I will share more tomorrow...but right now, I need to get some sleep - because our 5:00am departure is going to come quick!

Prayer Warriors...we need you!  The battle is on...

All Eyes on Jesus!

Ever Wonder Why...

“My grief is beyond healing, my heart is broken.”

[Jeremiah 8:18, NLT]

It is not only Jackson’s heart that the Lord is working on over the next several weeks, but mine and Kelly’s also.  Our grief is beyond healing and our hearts are broken… and in need of God’s perfect care.  And as I write this morning, I am reminded that God is “Yahweh” (I AM WHO I AM – Exodus 3:14) and HE IS the “Comforter of my Sorrows”.   

God has revealed himself to me in a new way - time and again - throughout His Journey in Jackson’s life that goes beyond my understanding.  For the Lord has taught me that He does not merely want me to believe in Him, but to believe Him.  His desire is that we not just know about Him, but know Him. We know about God as we read about God in the Bible, but we really know God when we experience God through His Character and Nature on our journey. 

In John 17:3 - Jesus said, “And this is the way to have eternal life – to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ the one you sent to earth.”  Jesus shared this right after He told his disciples, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.  But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (16:33)

Did you catch that?  Not, I will overcome…but I have overcome.  The trial, adversity, hardship and sorrow that you may be facing right now – that we are facing right now – Jesus has already overcome!  Do you believe in that…or do you believe that?

My desire for us is that we experience God in a new way this hour, this day, this week, this journey that allows us to know Him like we have never known Him before.  That we – and the crowd of witnesses to our lives - may see Him at work in and through us and stand amazed at what HE has done, so that they too will put their trust in Him!  [Psalm 40:1-3]

God IS who HE says He is…that is why we worship and praise Him alone!

“O Lord, you alone are my hope.  I have trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.

Yes you have been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.

No wonder I am praising you!” 

[Psalm 71: 5-6, NLT]

Jackson Update: 

Yesterday was a great day of travel!  We left Charlotte around 10am and arrived at the farm, where my dad grew up and my parents plan to retire, located an hour north of Pittsburgh about 8pm.  The kids were awesome…though the only one who slept was Jordyn, who fell asleep the first hour of our trip.  Jackson was awake the entire time, and was so excited because he thought he was going to the beach.  We have a little bit of guilt over that, but as I told Kelly…it would have been a much harder trip if he truly understood the reason for our travel north.

One of the great moments that yesterday held was Jordyn’s prayer at Cracker Barrel over dinner.  After thanking God for a safe trip, she prayed that “daddy would continue to go in the right direction”!  I need all the help I can get…

Today is going to be a day of rest, as tomorrow begins the final stages of preparation with an afternoon appointment at Pittsburgh Children's Hospital with Jackson’s surgical team.  As of this moment…the "battle plan" is as follows:

·        Thursday, June 7:  Heart Cath

• This outpatient procedure is to ensure the strength of the internal structures of his heart, and to provide an internal perspective and wisdom as to the plan of attack.  Jackson has not recovered well from his previous caths, so please cover this procedure in prayer…as God has reminded us to “not look past this”. 

·         Monday, June 11:  The Fontan Surgery

•  This surgery is Jackson’s third open heart surgery in a series of 3.

• Following Jackson’s fetal surgery when Kelly was 21 weeks pregnant, his first open heart surgery took place at Pittsburgh Children’s Hospital when he was 8 days old – where they moved his Aorta from the left ventricle to the right ventricle to begin the re-circulation/re-engineering and complete by-pass of the left side of his heart.  Jackson now only has a functioning right atrium and right ventricle, and no movement or development on the left side of his heart. 

• Jackson’s second open-heart surgery took place at 3 months old, where they connected the return blood from his upper extremities (The Superior Vena Cava) directly to the lungs (Pulmonary Artery), by-passing the heart all together. 

• This surgery will connect the lower extremities (Inferior Vena Cava) directly to the lungs (Pulmonary Artery) – so that in theory, the right ventricle will pump all the blood to the body (which is opposite of a normal functioning heart), with all the return blood by-passing the heart and returning directly to the lungs.  (For all of you who want more detail…here is a link to a good website with pictures http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002096/)  

• Point of concern:  Overall, Jackson is doing very well and would be “text book”, but an increasing, moderate leak between the right ventricle and atrium at his Tricuspid valve has the doctors very concerned.  The leak at the Tricuspid Valve is due to the extra value and enlarged right atrium, and the surgeon hopes to address it during the Fontan surgery, but will not be able to determine that possibility until they open Jackson’s chest. 

·         June 24 – Goal date for discharge

• Most likely Jackson will recover in the Cardiac ICU at Pittsburgh Children’s Hospital of UPMC for about 1 week following the surgery, and another week on the Cardiac Recovery Floor at Pittsburgh Children’s before discharge.

• But God has surprised us before, and we ask Him for another quick recovery and great healing to get us home as soon as possible!

Prayer Warriors - please know the power of your prayers and the encouragement they are to Kelly and me!

At dinner last night, we were again reminded that God works the impossible through our prayers…check out the caption/story of the soldier behind Jackson’s chair!

(Louis Trupo of Clarksburg, WV a US Marine in World War II, was hit over the heart by a sniper - but the bullet was deflected by his prayer book!)

God is with us!  Remember…when you are walking on water...it’s “All Eyes on Jesus”! 

Unexpected Turn...

"Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails."

Proverbs 19:21, NIV 

Life is full of unexpected turns, but it is the Love of God that brings us home!  It has been a a full year and a half of twists and turns - never before fathomed - but today we stand on the cusp of a turn that we did not see coming...so soon.  It was exactly a year ago to the day, when the incredible blessing of the moving trucks (if you remember that amazing story and gift of God's provision) unloaded our belongings in this amazing house that we have called home now for a year!  As the boxes made their way in the front door, it was bittersweet! This home is absolutely beautiful and more than anything we could ever dreamed of, but we knew that this was only a temporary place to lay our heads.  But we did not see it in our plans that the moving trucks would be back this morning...

"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Psalm 37:4, NIV

For more than two years now - Kelly and I, with our wise counsel, have been praying through a desire the Lord gave to us to move to Charlotte, NC.  It was only a few weeks into the interview process with the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association in 2008 that we felt His leading - but there was always a clear reason/purpose presented by the Lord to let us know that the timing was just not right.  So for two years...we waited.  When we sold our home in June of 2009 there were conversations then about moving to Charlotte - but it was only 3 weeks into the sale of our home that we found out about Jackson's diagnosis of Hypo-plastic Left Heart Syndrome, and the life-changing physical, mental, emotional and spiritual journey that we were thrusted into! 

Four months ago, an incredible brother in the Lord and my Managing Director, Ed, flew up from South Carolina to spend a week with me in Baltimore and Washington D.C.  We had several great meetings and conversations through out the week - but I will never forget the pivotal, life-changing conversation during the car ride home.  As we drove through Frederick, MD on the way to Pittsburgh, PA, Ed through me an curve ball I was not prepared for.  I did not see the "twist" that was right around the corner, until we were about an hour into conversation, when it became clear that the Lord was moving powerfully - and He wanted my attention!  

It was a week later that I was officially offered the new position of Regional Manager in Charlotte, NC - one that I did not see myself in nor think that I was the right person.  My response..."who am I that I should go"? 

For the next week, Kelly and I prayed - and prayed hard - with our wise counsel - seeking Peace and Oneness in the Lord as we discerned a response.  Tthe scripture reference that became very clear was that of Abraham and Sarah in their "wait" for the Promise of the Lord.  They were given a desire and a promise to have a son...but they took matters into their own hands, not waiting on the Lord's PERFECT timing and Abraham laid with a servant...and thus Ishmael.  The Promise - Isaac - was delivered on, but we still feel the effects of their sin today. 

So we said NO...or more like "not yet".  There were just too many obstacles medically, financially and within our family dynamics that just did not give us Peace that God was calling us to this position - at this time.  The Lord clearly said..."Wait".  And so we did...

Three weeks later - I was sitting down with one of Jackson's doctor's, and a great brother in the Lord, over a cup of coffee...when out of nowhere he asks, "So, when are you moving to Charlotte?"  My response..."what do you know?"  He knew nothing, other than that for the last year Kelly and I in conversation with him mentioned Charlotte several times, and he just felt led to ask.  I told him of turning down the position that we were offered a few weeks ago because of the lack of peace swirling around the medical and financial concerns of Jackson....and then our world was rocked. I will never forget his response - "Doug, Jackson has a life-altering medical diagnosis, but he is NOT an obstacle to what the Lord wants to do in and through you and Kelly, and your family."   So after another hour long conversation, a few days of research, and several phone calls to the "right" people/decision makers in the medical and insurance world - all the obstacles that presented themselves when first  offered the job were removed!  Every last one...His Grace is sufficient, no doubt! 

Knowing that several people had been thought of and interviewed for the position that was offered to me in the beginning of July, I shared this news with Ed just for future reference and to tell God's incredible story of Grace and Provision!  But again...God caught me off guard, for I was not ready for the next curveball..."Doug, are you open to continued conversation about the position?" 
You have to be kidding me...surely they would have filled the new position by now!  And so my response was..."I am always open to conversation to see what the Lord has in store, but Ed, Kelly and I are leaning towards setting our roots in Pennsylvania and calling this home." 

So a few days later - I was on a plane to our International Ministry Headquarters in Charlotte, and will never forget the conversation that morning held.  God showed Himself powerfully that morning as our Vice President, David, Ed and I talked and prayed over God's leading.  David spoke of Acts 1:8-10 and how the Lord had laid it on Ed and his heart that I was the man for this position...and again my response was "Who am I, Lord that you should send me?"  Come on...four years ago I was a high school math teacher, and my plans were set!  It was just all too amazing - especially in the circumstances that our family finds itself in...but God was and is clearly calling us to Charlotte - which was affirmed my phone call later that night to Kelly while I was waiting for my plane.  After sharing the day's events and conversations with her - my question was this, "Does this shock or overwhelm you?"  Her response..."not at all!  This is exactly what I have been praying for!"  "Are you kidding me...thanks for letting me in on the memo, Kel!"  The power of a praying wife!  And though our plans have been many...the Lord's purpose always prevails...and we are on our way to Charlotte (Fort Mill, SC to be exact)!

So this morning...the movers are here to pack!  They will be back tomorrow to load, and we will travel to Charlotte to close on our new house Wednesday!  And hopefully...our stuff will arrive to begin moving in on Thursday! 

Yall, I know that it has been a while - but life has been full of unexpected turns, and time has been very limited!  But that is not an excuse...and this morning when the Lord clearly laid it on my heart that it was time to write again...I wanted to bring you up to speed.  You have been so faithfully praying us through this journey...and please do NOT stop now!  This is a huge leap of faith and an unexpected turn, but we know that Love of God, the Grace of Christ, and the Fellowship of the Holy Spirit will lead us home! 

And am I sure that you are wondering about our little, big man...so here is a smile for you to start the Jackson update:

He is doing well!  We had a bit of a reality check a few weeks ago...because just by looking at him, and the way that he moves through the house, you would never know that he only has one ventricle, and half a heart.  But our cardiologist shared with us that the tricuspid valve continues to have a mild to moderate leak and at this point, his heart is not functioning or healthy enough for the critical, third open-heart surgery.  But the big reality check came when we had the conversation with his doctor about the possibility of a heart transplant down the road...BUT we will go there if necessary.  We remain hopeful that the valve will improve in function and that we will be able to complete the series of surgeries as scheduled....because God can do all things!  But we do recognize that - just as all of us - are days are numbered here on earth - and great joy awaits us who believe in our hearts that Jesus was raised from the dead, and confess with our mouth's that He is Lord!  It is a waiting game with Jackson...as one ventricle will not sustain a "normal" life, but normal is relative!  He has given us so much life in these last 11 months...and we are so excited to celebrate a year with him on November 30th!  Our God is so awesome, and in Him there is Hope for Today, Tomorrow and Eternity! 

And yes the Lord continues to provide a great medical team in this move - as Jackson's surgical team will stay at Pittsburgh's Children's Hospital under the direction of Dr. Morell, but his pediatric cardiologist will now be Dr. Greene in Charlotte - who is very excited to meet his new "Fetal Aortic Balloon, Single Ventricle" patient.  Jackson is one of kind...literally!

Prayer Warriors - please continue to pray for God's healing and strength for Jackson.  Pray that his tricuspid valve would improve in function so that we can have his third open-heart surgery here in PITTSBURGH in the fall of 2011!  Pray that Kelly and I would continue to be sensitive and lean into the Holy Spirit's prompting, and that we would walk with our Lord every step of the way! 

Carter and Jordyn are so excited (as are Mommy and Daddy) for the move...but there is a lot of change and stress upon our family right now.  So much so, that we all came down with a severe sinus cold over the weekend!  The battle is on...physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually...but the Victory is already in the Blood that was shed on Calvary's Cross!  So we fight from Victory and for His Glory! 

Love yall so much...and thank you for continuing to reinforce the prayer foundation that has been laid!  We will keep you posted...promise!

In the unexpected turns of life...always remember that the Love of God will always lead you home! 

All eyes on Jesus!



Here are a few picture highlights from the last several months...enjoy the smiles!

 

Carter kneeling along a creek at Ben and Victoria's wedding in July...

Princess Jordyn running away from another photo shoot...

Ed Isley holding Jackson for the first time...

The Joy in those eyes...August 2010

Carter's first day of kindergarten...and "yes" his mom rocks!

He was so excited...check out the double-jointed elbows - just like his daddy!

Watch out ladies...funny story - this was actually the outfit that Kelly had set out for his first day, but he wanted to wear his "My Mom Rocks" shirt so that all of his new friends would know how much he loved his mom!  As if the first day of Kindergarten with our first-born wasn't emotional enough...

Three goof-balls doing what the do best...giggle!

Awesome day of adventure in the woods at North Park...

Penny for your thoughts...

Carter teaching Jordyn how to balance on a fallen log...

Ahoy there matey...

Carter and Jordyn 0n the bumper cars at Idlewild Park's Hallow-boo!  Don't ever go on a 70 degree, Sunday in October when the Steeler's have a by-week!  It was crazy...but a ton of fun!

Fun in the pumpkin patch with the Mathieu's at Harvest Valley Farms...

Anybody else hear wedding bells????

Cyclopes and Miss Kitty...the pumpkins silly!

Princess Jordyn turned three November 7th! 

She had an awesome birthday! 

Here we go Steelers!!!!

Commit to Believe...

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, and rescues those whose spirits are crushed." 

[Psalm 34:18, NLT]

Of all the scriptures that Kelly and I have stood on, found strength in and committed not only to believe, but to obey through the journey of this last year...this is the promise that has given us the greatest peace and rest!  For the Lord is close - and He has rescued us...

It is hard to imagine that it was a year ago that Kelly and I woke up together this very morning (July 25) in Magee Women's Hospital following the miracle of Jackson's Fetal Aortic Balloon Valvioplasty - the fetal surgery where Dr. Emery, Dr. Speer, and Dr. Kroutzer performed a laparotomy on Kelly, placed a needle through her abdomen, through her uterus, through Jackson's chest, through his heart, down his aorta (which at the time was the thickness of a dime) and pulled an angioplasty balloon across the aortic valve - all while Dr. Speer slipped his hand under Kelly's abdomen wall and held Jackson and Kelly's uterus in perfect position - in the hopes of restoring a blood flow out Jackson's left ventricle.  I will never forget the intensity of the moments in the waiting room, as my younger brother and 7 of my closest brothers in Christ stood in the gap through the wait of a lifetime, lifting  Kelly, Jackson and I up in constant prayer.  

Now of course - it was a hilarious sight for any on looker seeing 9 guys gathered in circle in the middle of the "Labor and Delivery" waiting room in a women's hospital.  Just imagine...here is group of grown men taking up half the waiting room, engaged in moments of great conversation, intense prayer, hard cries, and the occasional loud laughter, while woman after woman, family after family anxiously passed through the waiting room with "mommy to be" in full labor, and ready to deliver!  I can only imagine the thoughts those families had as they witnessed our conversation, laughter and prayers. I will never forget that "wait" as my beautiful wife's and precious baby's life where in God's hands - through the surgical team. 

But we committed to believe through the set-backs, obstacles and struggles of that morning, and stood firm on the clarity, peace and strength of our Heavenly Father!  The team desperately did not want to perform a laparotomy- cutting Kelly's abdomen open and slipping Dr. Speer's hand under the abdomen wall to hold Jackson in place - for that would drastically increase the chances of infection and loss of the pregnancy.  And every time Jackson would come into perfect position to start the surgery...he would move at the very last moment.  For 6 hours, the team of nurses tried to get Jackson in position, walking Kelly, turning Kelly, positioning Kelly - every which way - desperately trying to position Jackson who was a mere 21 weeks old and maybe a pound.  But, then the moment of decision, it was time to proceed with the laparotomy on Kelly.  So the incision was made, Dr. Speer's hand was slipped into position to hold Jackson in uterus...and a few minutes later the surgery was over. 

The first time this surgery was attempted at Pittsburgh Children's Hospital, it ended with the loss of the pregnancy.  We knew the risks.  We knew the possibility of a fatal outcome - not only for Jackson, but for Kel.  We knew the lack of experience, the unknown, and the odds stacked against us!  But we committed to believe!  We believe that our God is far greater than any struggle or problem we face!  We believe that our Savior is our Rock and our Rescue!  We believe in the Power of the Holy Spirit...and we committed to stand firm, hold strong and follow our Awesome, Holy and Sovereign God to go where no one else had ever gone before!  And so we did...and with thousands of people praying that morning, we got our "feet wet" and man did the waters ever part! 
I will never forget the moment that Dr. Speer came out of the OR to share the news with all 9 guys in the waiting room...tears flowed, as smiles, shouts and hugs abound!  Faith flowed powerfully that morning!  And God followed through on His Promise that He is close to the brokenhearted and rescues those who are crushed in spirit!  God proved that He has, is and forever is able to miraculously heal, move mountains and do the impossible and unthinkable!  God restored a flow out the aorta that day, as Kelly and Jackson's surgery was the first successful surgery of it's kind at Magee Woman's Hospital!  We committed to believe...and God showed up!  We prayed for life...and God delivered abundantly!  We worshipped in one faith, one hope and one Lord over all, in all and through all...and our Heavenly Father glorified His Name!   

And now here we are...a year later!  Who would have ever thought...faced with the option to abort or experience death upon delivery...that our beautiful baby boy fell asleep in mommy's arms last night, started to crawl a week ago, and has now learned how to stand up in his crib!  Look out world - here he comes...

Jackson truly is a miracle of God's healing!   It is amazing to look at him, and to think off all that he has gone through...the fetal surgery, two open-heart surgeries, 3 heart caths, 1 esophageal EKG and more than 30 days in the CICU...and here is this big, 7 month bundle of hope!  I would never want to walk through the dark valley of this past year ever again - but the growth, healing, strength and blessing that God has poured out on our family has been seriously ridiculous!  It has been so hard, and there have been moments of great weakness and struggle - but no matter how hard the tears or the depth of the pain, God was always there to hold us.  It still hurts to let go of dreams - but God is a whole lot smarter than us, and His plan is far better than any dream of ours that has been shattered!  He knows the plans He has for us...we just have to "commit to believe"! 

Jackson was at the doctor's yesterday and received a great report!  He is extremely strong, and Dr. Graff was blown away that Jackson is crawling at 7 months.  Kel and I were concerned about the demands placed on Jackson's heart with his increase in activity - but the doctor shared not to be concerned at all at this point, for it is as he grows into his adolescent/teenage years that the concern really starts with the added pressures of peers to go and do things that he will "most likely" not be able to do.
Jackson weighed in at 18lbs and 5ounces!  The boy loves to eat...and the other day, Kelly had finished feeding him carrots and placed what was left in the jar on the counter.  Jackson started to fuss a little and big sister, Jordyn came to the rescue.  Jordyn just assumed since he was still sitting in his chair that he was still "humgy"...so she did what any 2 year old would do...she gave Jackson the rest of the jar!  And this is what Kelly walked into 30 seconds later:

Jordyn is our "joy maker"!  No doubt about it!  And to see the relationships that are forming between the three of them is absolutely awesome!  The care and compassion that they show to one another is truly a blessing.  We just pray it lasts a couple of years...

Carter turned six on July 14, and we celebrated with a "kid party" for the very first time - which was an absolute blast!  A lot of noise comes out of 10 kiddos under the age of six...but we had great party!  Bubba is also gearing up for Kindergarten that starts in a month, and absolutely loves his morning work-book activities with mommy, where he is learning to read, write and subtract! 

We also took our annual trip to Idlewild Park and Soak Zone - which was an another amazing day of memories!

And another highlight this month was the incredible day that Great Grandma and Grandpa Miller had the opportunity to finally meet Jackson - their 14th Great Grandchild. 

Thanks to all of you prayer warriors who continue to lift us up through your daily prayers!  Especially those who have been praying for Jordyn's sleep!  As you know, with all the trauma/stress of the move, Jackson's birth and surgeries - Jordyn has not slept through the night in her big-girl bed since November.  She has been sleeping on the floor beside our bed for 7 months now, the doctors believe it to be post-tramatic stress related - go figure!  I begin to share with you the countless prayers that have been lifted for her and her rest by Kel and I, but for some reason this past weekend she finally decided she wanted to sleep in her Cinderalla bed.  So our Princess Jordyn has slept soundly the last 3 nights in her own bed - in her own room!  Praise God!

There is nothing more powerful on this side of heaven than prayer - and we could never thank you enough for standing with us through this journey! It's been a journey hasn't it...and it has effected us each in a unique way, but our God is an Awesome God! 
Today...commit to believe!  Whatever shadow, storm or valley you face...commit to believe!  Take Him at His Word...you never know, He just may want to prove again that He can still move mountains!  After all...He is God! 

All Eyes on Jesus!