Commit to Believe...

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, and rescues those whose spirits are crushed." 

[Psalm 34:18, NLT]

Of all the scriptures that Kelly and I have stood on, found strength in and committed not only to believe, but to obey through the journey of this last year...this is the promise that has given us the greatest peace and rest!  For the Lord is close - and He has rescued us...

It is hard to imagine that it was a year ago that Kelly and I woke up together this very morning (July 25) in Magee Women's Hospital following the miracle of Jackson's Fetal Aortic Balloon Valvioplasty - the fetal surgery where Dr. Emery, Dr. Speer, and Dr. Kroutzer performed a laparotomy on Kelly, placed a needle through her abdomen, through her uterus, through Jackson's chest, through his heart, down his aorta (which at the time was the thickness of a dime) and pulled an angioplasty balloon across the aortic valve - all while Dr. Speer slipped his hand under Kelly's abdomen wall and held Jackson and Kelly's uterus in perfect position - in the hopes of restoring a blood flow out Jackson's left ventricle.  I will never forget the intensity of the moments in the waiting room, as my younger brother and 7 of my closest brothers in Christ stood in the gap through the wait of a lifetime, lifting  Kelly, Jackson and I up in constant prayer.  

Now of course - it was a hilarious sight for any on looker seeing 9 guys gathered in circle in the middle of the "Labor and Delivery" waiting room in a women's hospital.  Just imagine...here is group of grown men taking up half the waiting room, engaged in moments of great conversation, intense prayer, hard cries, and the occasional loud laughter, while woman after woman, family after family anxiously passed through the waiting room with "mommy to be" in full labor, and ready to deliver!  I can only imagine the thoughts those families had as they witnessed our conversation, laughter and prayers. I will never forget that "wait" as my beautiful wife's and precious baby's life where in God's hands - through the surgical team. 

But we committed to believe through the set-backs, obstacles and struggles of that morning, and stood firm on the clarity, peace and strength of our Heavenly Father!  The team desperately did not want to perform a laparotomy- cutting Kelly's abdomen open and slipping Dr. Speer's hand under the abdomen wall to hold Jackson in place - for that would drastically increase the chances of infection and loss of the pregnancy.  And every time Jackson would come into perfect position to start the surgery...he would move at the very last moment.  For 6 hours, the team of nurses tried to get Jackson in position, walking Kelly, turning Kelly, positioning Kelly - every which way - desperately trying to position Jackson who was a mere 21 weeks old and maybe a pound.  But, then the moment of decision, it was time to proceed with the laparotomy on Kelly.  So the incision was made, Dr. Speer's hand was slipped into position to hold Jackson in uterus...and a few minutes later the surgery was over. 

The first time this surgery was attempted at Pittsburgh Children's Hospital, it ended with the loss of the pregnancy.  We knew the risks.  We knew the possibility of a fatal outcome - not only for Jackson, but for Kel.  We knew the lack of experience, the unknown, and the odds stacked against us!  But we committed to believe!  We believe that our God is far greater than any struggle or problem we face!  We believe that our Savior is our Rock and our Rescue!  We believe in the Power of the Holy Spirit...and we committed to stand firm, hold strong and follow our Awesome, Holy and Sovereign God to go where no one else had ever gone before!  And so we did...and with thousands of people praying that morning, we got our "feet wet" and man did the waters ever part! 
I will never forget the moment that Dr. Speer came out of the OR to share the news with all 9 guys in the waiting room...tears flowed, as smiles, shouts and hugs abound!  Faith flowed powerfully that morning!  And God followed through on His Promise that He is close to the brokenhearted and rescues those who are crushed in spirit!  God proved that He has, is and forever is able to miraculously heal, move mountains and do the impossible and unthinkable!  God restored a flow out the aorta that day, as Kelly and Jackson's surgery was the first successful surgery of it's kind at Magee Woman's Hospital!  We committed to believe...and God showed up!  We prayed for life...and God delivered abundantly!  We worshipped in one faith, one hope and one Lord over all, in all and through all...and our Heavenly Father glorified His Name!   

And now here we are...a year later!  Who would have ever thought...faced with the option to abort or experience death upon delivery...that our beautiful baby boy fell asleep in mommy's arms last night, started to crawl a week ago, and has now learned how to stand up in his crib!  Look out world - here he comes...

Jackson truly is a miracle of God's healing!   It is amazing to look at him, and to think off all that he has gone through...the fetal surgery, two open-heart surgeries, 3 heart caths, 1 esophageal EKG and more than 30 days in the CICU...and here is this big, 7 month bundle of hope!  I would never want to walk through the dark valley of this past year ever again - but the growth, healing, strength and blessing that God has poured out on our family has been seriously ridiculous!  It has been so hard, and there have been moments of great weakness and struggle - but no matter how hard the tears or the depth of the pain, God was always there to hold us.  It still hurts to let go of dreams - but God is a whole lot smarter than us, and His plan is far better than any dream of ours that has been shattered!  He knows the plans He has for us...we just have to "commit to believe"! 

Jackson was at the doctor's yesterday and received a great report!  He is extremely strong, and Dr. Graff was blown away that Jackson is crawling at 7 months.  Kel and I were concerned about the demands placed on Jackson's heart with his increase in activity - but the doctor shared not to be concerned at all at this point, for it is as he grows into his adolescent/teenage years that the concern really starts with the added pressures of peers to go and do things that he will "most likely" not be able to do.
Jackson weighed in at 18lbs and 5ounces!  The boy loves to eat...and the other day, Kelly had finished feeding him carrots and placed what was left in the jar on the counter.  Jackson started to fuss a little and big sister, Jordyn came to the rescue.  Jordyn just assumed since he was still sitting in his chair that he was still "humgy"...so she did what any 2 year old would do...she gave Jackson the rest of the jar!  And this is what Kelly walked into 30 seconds later:

Jordyn is our "joy maker"!  No doubt about it!  And to see the relationships that are forming between the three of them is absolutely awesome!  The care and compassion that they show to one another is truly a blessing.  We just pray it lasts a couple of years...

Carter turned six on July 14, and we celebrated with a "kid party" for the very first time - which was an absolute blast!  A lot of noise comes out of 10 kiddos under the age of six...but we had great party!  Bubba is also gearing up for Kindergarten that starts in a month, and absolutely loves his morning work-book activities with mommy, where he is learning to read, write and subtract! 

We also took our annual trip to Idlewild Park and Soak Zone - which was an another amazing day of memories!

And another highlight this month was the incredible day that Great Grandma and Grandpa Miller had the opportunity to finally meet Jackson - their 14th Great Grandchild. 

Thanks to all of you prayer warriors who continue to lift us up through your daily prayers!  Especially those who have been praying for Jordyn's sleep!  As you know, with all the trauma/stress of the move, Jackson's birth and surgeries - Jordyn has not slept through the night in her big-girl bed since November.  She has been sleeping on the floor beside our bed for 7 months now, the doctors believe it to be post-tramatic stress related - go figure!  I begin to share with you the countless prayers that have been lifted for her and her rest by Kel and I, but for some reason this past weekend she finally decided she wanted to sleep in her Cinderalla bed.  So our Princess Jordyn has slept soundly the last 3 nights in her own bed - in her own room!  Praise God!

There is nothing more powerful on this side of heaven than prayer - and we could never thank you enough for standing with us through this journey! It's been a journey hasn't it...and it has effected us each in a unique way, but our God is an Awesome God! 
Today...commit to believe!  Whatever shadow, storm or valley you face...commit to believe!  Take Him at His Word...you never know, He just may want to prove again that He can still move mountains!  After all...He is God! 

All Eyes on Jesus!