A kick in the gut...

So Jesus said...“Put your sword away. Shall I not drink the cup [which My] Father has given Me?” [John 18:11, NIV/NKJV]

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world - but be transformed - by the renewing of your mind" and I say it again..."Rejoice in the Lord always! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus!" [Romans 12: 2 and Philippians 4:4-7, NIV]

I don't know your betrayal experience - but many of us have felt the shock, awe, amazement, gasp for air and "stunned" feeling it creates! It may have been a spouse, a friend, a congregation, a student, a colleague, a partner, a boss, a company or a community. Whatever and whoever the situation, circumstance or experience involves - please put down your sword! I plead with you...put it away - right now - before I even begin to share this story!

A kick in the gut...didn't see this one coming!
Yesterday morning was awesome - it started with a cinnamon crunch bagel, sliced and toasted with Honey Walnut cream cheese - accompanied by hazelnut coffee - all over a great conversation with a phenomenal brother in Christ ! Now, that is the way to start a Friday morning - two knuckleheads laughing and carrying on in Panera - iron sharpening iron - sharing life, ministry and encouragement with one another, both having faced a very tough 6 week stretch! Straight up - I think we both would have fell asleep if it were not for the coffee! We shared story after story as he caught me up on sending his oldest daughter off to college Thursday, his aunt who is not doing well, his family and the church...and I got him up to speed on Jackson, Kel and the kids, and the house in Gibsonia for rent that we were pumped to see later in the day!
And as we closed our conversation and prayer time together, it was laid on his heart to share with me a scene from Braveheart! You know the one - the Battle of Sterling! Where the English army stands across the open field from the Scottish clans lead by William Wallace. The chanting, the screaming, the drum beats, the mocking, the archers and then the hilarious scene - the mooning - and of course more flying arrows, and shields!
And then the moment of truth...Longshanks sends the English horses on full attack! As horseman charge and the pounding of the earth intensifies...Wallace yell out to his militia of misfits, "hold, Hold, HOLD!" And without warning - at the perfect moment - the Scottsmen kneel, grab their spears lying hidden on the ground, lift them into the air and annihilate the strength of the English army - without even taking a step!
The enemy wants to intimidate us, mock us and sow thoughts of doubt, fear and anger into our lives, bringing a relentless attack - scheme after scheme - and we must HOLD! Because our spear is the Living Word! We don't have to take so much a step - but speak the Living Word, the Truth, the Word of God and the enemy and his schemes will be annihilated!

Back to the story...so, Kel and I packed up the kids - and the car - around 3:30 and headed south with our joyful anticipation deepening for the house that we were going to look at in Gibsonia at 6:00pm! We were so pumped - totally stoked - and with an hour and half drive ahead of us, we decided to leave a little early so we could drive past and "scout" the exterior of the house and the community prior to having dinner with our friends Jason and Jennifer.
The trip down was awesome! Kelly and I had a wonderful conversation - planning, dreaming, and preparing for any and all things as Carter and Jordyn watched the Big River Rescue! We were a little nervous...not going to lie...and the closer we got to the house - the more the anticipation built! We drove up into the housing plan, past several new patio homes/condos and new construction, when we finally reached Shadow Court. We made the left and down the street we went, like two kids on Christmas morning!
The cul-de-sac street was awesome with about 20 great homes, play sets in the backyards, very friendly neighbors, and well maintained properties! And then we laid eyes on the house! It was beautiful! It was in a great location, great yard, and great setting...and man were we ever excited! We drove past ever so slowly, noticing the new landscaping and beginning to "move in" mentally and emotionally! So it was all systems go...and we had our plan in place after four days of intense prayer and conversations with our wise counsel!
We had to make a quick pit stop at the Gibsonia Giant Eagle before heading to Jason and Jennifer's to pick up our new favorite dessert: Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream with Reese's Chocolate Peanut Butter "Shell" topping! Good stuff - ya'll! Thanks Aimee and Kirk for the recipe!
So after the 5 minute pit stop - it was down the road 10 minutes to Wexford for dinner! And as we sat at the stop light - right in front of our home church, NorthWay - I picked up my phone and noticed that I had a missed call! Carter was making a comment about the "water fall working properly" at the new stores, when I got the voicemail...

Hi Doug, this is Karen with the home for rent in Gibsonia. I was hoping not to leave this on voicemail, but I just accepted a security deposit on the home from a couple who drove up early from North Carolina to see the home. He is a senior pastor in the area, and will be taking the home - so it is no longer available. Please call me back at your earliest convenience as I don't want you to waste your time driving down here tonight.

I could not even form words when I hung up the phone! I did not even know the emotion that I was experiencing...I was stunned, shocked, kicked in the gut! I mean after all we have been through in the last 6 weeks with Jackson, the selling of our house, living in the "wilderness" away from our friends and community - talk about a kick to the gut! It knocked the wind right out of me in split second...BUT - all I could hear was the Holy Spirit yelling: "hold, Hold, HOLD!" I looked over at Kel and she knew right away, and to see the emotion on her face...ripped my heart out, not only as a daddy, but as a husband! We were silent the last two minutes of the drive to Jason and Jen's, and literally sat in their driveway for 5 minutes collecting our thoughts, dreams and emotions that had spilled out all over the floor! It was tough...BUT GOD!
Yes - we were betrayed! As we were asked by Karen, two days earlier if we could come see the house sooner than Sunday...that she wanted us to have the first crack at the house, and felt it was a perfect fit for our family! And yes - we felt the sting of the blow...but were not betrayed by God! God never leaves us, never foresakes us...and man, it was hard to drop the sword on the ground and not go after some one's head!
Once we got into the house - got the kids playing - updated Jas and Jen...I called Karen back and congratulated her, and wished her and the Pastor's family (who is moving into the area from Graham, NC and will be pastoring at Macedonia) well and that we will be praying for them all and that we hoped everything works out well!
When we kicked, punched and our feet taken out from under us...the world tells us to pick the sword, hit em' back, and react! But - we must choose to respond with the Grace, Love, Forgiveness and Kindness that Christ first showed us! We must not conform to the ways of man! God is in control - we must Hold - and continue to Wait upon His perfect timing! He will provide - and will meet our every need - just as He has done and is doing! We must remain patient...for greater things are yet to come! Greater things are still to be done!

And this morning when I woke...this was the scripture reference waiting for me on my blackberry from the Marketplace Leaders devotional I receive daily:

Not that I am looking for a gift, but I am looking for what may be credited to your [heavenly] account...and my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus!" [Philippians 4:17 and 19, NIV]

And that is the Truth...we can be confident in this - just as Paul was - that in the midst of every trial, every storm, every test and every need...the Lord will provide according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus! I don't know "where" it is going to come from - but it is coming! For this is not about Doug, Kelly, Carter, Jordyn or Jackson! It is not about our homes, our jobs, our work, our communities, our organizations, our successes, our ministries, or our lives. It is about so much more...the Life, Death and Resurrection of our Lord and Savior - Christ Jesus - who endured the Cross of suffering, shame, betrayal, pain and disappointment...because of His Great Love for us! Let His Love, Light and Life shine brightly in your every thought and action!

Please, put your swords down - and know that God is Love and He is with us every step of the way! I ask that you cover Karen, the couple, and their family in prayer through this of transition in ministry and home! And stand firm on the promise that He is with us in the deepest of valleys and on the highest of mountains - and in every step of the journey in between! I say it again...Rejoice Always, and consider it pure Joy the trials and tribulations we will face! Walk by Faith...forget the past, and run towards the heavenly prize He is calling us to! Fix your eyes on Jesus, pursue the Holy Spirit, and walk according to the good, pleasing and perfect Will of our Heavenly Father! I don't how it is all going to work out...but HE does!

All Eyes on Jesus...

And thanks for enduring and walking through this with us!

Anticipation Deepens...

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!
That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens. [Romans 8:15-21, The Message]

Do you remember the day, the place, the time, the nerves, the excitement, the butterflies in your stomach, the anticipation when the training wheels came off your bike? Over the last couple of weeks, Carter has been asking me to take off his training wheels, and letting me know that he was "ready to ride!" But, I just was not sure...I mean this is the same "Bubba" that fell going up the steps of a slide this spring, resulting in 14 stitches above his left eye. Then he turned around a month later, fell off a chair onto our kitchen floor, resulting in yet another 6 stitches under his chin! And being more than a half hour away from the nearest ER...I just wasn't sure I was ready for another "stitches" run! "But where is your faith, daddy?"

So Monday evening - the training wheels came off! It was a rough start! He fell a couple of times right from the beginning, but man was Bubba ever determined! I noticed that he was struggling every time he went to put his feet up onto the pedals...so I took him over to a long gradual grade in the driveway here at the farm, and taught him that the first step was to just coast, and not worry about pedaling! I encouraged him that if he could make it down the drive without touching his feet to the ground that he was then ready for the next step. He must have made 30 trips down this 50ft stretch of driveway - coasting with his feet hanging off to the side, touching them down whenever he lost his balance! And then it happened...he made it down the drive without touching his feet! He was so pumped and I was Totally Stoked!
And of course - with a huge smile on his face - Carter looks up at me and asks, "What's the next step, dad! Am I ready?" So the two of us stayed out until dark, desperately trying to get his feet up on the pedals - one at a time - but it just wasn't clicking!
Tuesday morning, I was down in the basement working on some things for BGEA when Kel yelled down - "Doug, get up here! You are missing it!" So I ran up the steps, came out through the garage to the driveway, and to my absolute astonishment - there was Bubba riding in circles over and over again! Earlier in that morning, Carter went into the garage - where we had left his bike, helmet, knee and elbow pads the night before - suited up and somehow, when mommy turned her back for a split second to help Jordyn - he learned to ride all on his own! It was amazing! He even taught himself how to stand up and ride and by the end of the night he was bobbing and weaving all over the place without crashing! It was truly awesome! If you were to see him ride - you truly would think he had been riding for years! I mean...I could hardly even keep up with him when he asked me to get my bike out and ride later that evening! Man - we are so proud of him!

And so the anticipation deepens...because many times in life, we beg for Him to take off our training wheels...He says "no"...so we go to the garage, grab the wrench, and take them off our self - resulting in a ER run and serious consequences to our disobedience! And then there are times when we don't even realize that God has already taken off the training wheels, and is longing for us to ride on Faith! And no matter where we are...our focus must be on Him...and we must wait on His perfect timing! For strength will rise when we wait upon Lord! Because - "God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead." [vs. 21] He knows the road ahead, behind and around us - seeing things we will never see, and knowing things we will never know - this side of Heaven! Do we trust Him? Do we trust His timing and stand firm on the Promise of "what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him! [vs. 17-19]

Move/House Update:
Are you ready for this? Check this out...Wednesday night we received a phone call from Karen about the house in Gibsonia. She was calling to see if Kelly and I were available to come by this evening, meet her and take a look it - rather than Sunday afternoon. She shared with me that everything was okay, but that many people have shared interest in the home, and that she really wanted us to have the first shot at renting the house! How awesome is that ya'll! Talk about a blessing from Heaven! She feels her house would be the perfect home for our family and we are so to see "what's next" in His story with our move! I can't even to begin expressing thoughts in words about how hopeful, excited, stoked and even a little nervous we are to meet her tonight at 6:00pm...and meanwhile, the Joyful Anticipation Deepens!

I can't wait to share with you all how God continues His story today - but remember, it is His story! And I ask that you join us in prayer all day - in preparation for tonight! Pray for Clarity, Wisdom, Unity and an overwhelming Spirit of Discernment to be upon us this evening as we meet with Karen and pursue God's Will! Pray for God's glory to be revealed - as this is just another opportunity for Him to reveal His Power, Majesty, Provision and Grace in our lives! Pray that God opens our eyes, ears and hearts so that we may come to know His Son more...and that no matter what happens...that we stand on the Promise that He is with us every step of the way! Love you all - and thank you so much for continuing to reinforce the foundation of prayer you all have laid with us...and for continuing to stand in the gap!

All Eyes on Jesus...

Total Surrender...

[The disciples were greatly astonished] saying amongst themselves, “Who then can be saved?” But Jesus looked at them and said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.” Then Peter began to say to Him, “See, we have left all and followed You...” [Mark 10:26-28, NKJV]

Could you imagine the intensity of that conversation between Jesus and his disciples! What an awesome question - and what courage demonstrated on the disciples part to ask! But, don't miss this glorious answer that Christ gives in response:

So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life..." [Mark 10:29-30, NKJV]

Do you see the Connection - between Surrender and Salvation? The Promise? The Truth? Do you believe Him? Do you truly believe that it is humanly impossible to be saved, and that there is no other way to receive eternal life than through Total Surrender - and I am not talking about ours! But by God's Total Surrender to and for us! ...For God so loved the world that He gave His One and Only Son... [John 3:16, emphasis mine]

I love the wisdom and insight that Oswald Chambers brings to this idea of "Total Surrender": Salvation does not mean merely deliverance from sin or the experience of personal holiness. The salvation which comes from God means being completely delivered from myself, and being placed into perfect union with Him. When I think of my salvation experience, I think of being delivered from my sin and gaining personal holiness. But salvation is so much more! It means that the Spirit of God has brought me into intimate contact with the true Person of God Himself! And as I am caught up into total surrender to God, I become thrilled with something infinitely greater than myself...the fact that He saves us from sin and makes us holy is actually part of the effect of His wonderful and total surrender to us!

See - God is the main character - not us! This is not Jackson's story or the story of Doug and Kelly Barrett - this is His story that He is writing, reflecting and completing within our families, communities, relationships and experiences! And as I am "caught up" into total surrender to God - I am amazed, totally stoked, pumped and thrilled with something infinitely greater than this knucklehead...that He saved me in His Total Surrender! That is nuts ya'all! But it is God - for He is Love! Seriously Ridiculous - Crazy Love!

So - by Faith - let us give ourselves to God today in the same way that He first gave himself for us - totally, unconditionally, and without reservation - and stand on the Promise "that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life!" [John 3:16, NKJV]


"The Move" Update: Here is where we stand...

So I’ll stand - With arms high and heart abandoned!
In awe of the One who gave it all!
So I’ll stand - My soul Lord to You surrendered.! All I am is Yours...
[Hillsong's, The Stand]

And we stand on His Promise of Peace and Strength! Check out this story...[and the only reason I share this is that you would join us in prayer and give God the Glory alone! Soli Deo Gloria!]

Monday morning, following a very hard start to the week, we both were "emotionally bankrupt" and exhausted, and I just began to cry out and pray! And during this time of "quiet" I was prompted to go onto Craigslist.com and search for 4bedroom homes for rent - as we had not done this for a week or so - and I came across two listings that I emailed for more information and pictures. One never got back to us - but, Karen did! She has a beautiful 4 bedroom home in the Gibsonia area for rent that she put on Craigslist Sunday! It has every element the Lord has laid on our heart - minus the swimming pool and diving board that Carter insists we have - a sidewalk community, 4 bedrooms, ideal location for Carter's schooling, the hospitals, Kelly and the kids activities, our community of friends, and a great set-up for us to be able to work from home more efficiently and effectively! It has the space, yard and deck to do "life" and "ministry" together - which God has specifically laid on our hearts! And are you ready for the "kicker" - her mother use to work with the Billy Graham Crusade Ministry! How awesome is our God! I mean seriously - what are the chances that the current Regional Manager with the BGEA would "by chance" just happen to connect with a family who worked with the same ministry years ago - that just happens to have a home for rent! That is Seriously Ridiculous! Talk about God revealing Himself in every detail! He is so micro and so macro all at the same time!
And no matter what happens on Sunday when we go through the home - I am sure it will be a great conversation as Kelly and I are excited to meet her and see what/where the Holy Spirit leads! And even if this is not the house - it is just an awesome push of encouragement [light at the end of the tunnel] and reminder that God is with us every step of the way!
So...please be in prayer for Karen, the home, our conversation on Sunday and specifically for Clarity, Wisdom, Unity and Peace as we yield to the Holy Spirit's lead!

All Eyes on Jesus...

By Faith...

"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see! ... [He] will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths. [He] will guide them; [He] will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things [He] will do; [He] will not forsake them'...
[Hebrews 11:1 and Isaiah 42:16, NIV]

One of the greatest pieces of advice I ever received was..."be cautious, not fearful - and never follow a Christian leader that does not walk with a limp". For the limp is a "stone of remembrance" of the storm, adversity, miracle, struggle, wilderness, forest that they walked through by Faith - severing them from the dock and allowing them to plunge into a deep relationship with our Risen Lord and Savior - Christ Jesus! Take a moment and think of Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Moses, Joshua, Rahab, Daniel, Nehemiah, Paul and the other awesome examples of men and women of faith that led nations and generations in ways that go beyond our current culture of "leadership"! For it was:

By Faith...a man built a boat to save his family - when it was not even raining!

By Faith...a man left his home - following the call of God to a land of milk and honey!

By Faith...a woman too old and barren had a child!

By Faith...A man grew up and refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter; chose to share the oppression of God’s people instead of enjoying the fleeting pleasures of sin; thought it better to suffer for the sake of Christ than to own the treasures of Egypt; left that land, not fearing the king’s anger; commanded the people of Israel to keep the Passover and to sprinkle blood on the doorposts so that the angel of death would not kill their firstborn sons; led the people of Israel right through the Red Sea as though they were on dry ground, and when the Egyptians tried to follow, they all drowned; marched the people of around a city for seven days, and the walls came crashing down!

By Faith...a prostitute was not destroyed with her city - because of her kindness and compassion shown to spies!

By Faith...a man led a nation through a flooded river into a land of giants on dry ground!

By Faith...a man was thrown into a den of lions and survived - untouched!

By Faith...a man rebuilt a wall with his brothers and sisters - sword in one hand, shovel in the other!

By Faith...a persecutor of the early church was blinded, saved, healed, restored, and called an apostle!

By Faith...we keep on going - just like these men and women of Faith - because our eyes are on and have witnessed the miracles, signs and wonders of the One who is invisible! And we look ahead to His great reward!

And as we turn the page on Hebrews 11, check out how Hebrews 12 opens...

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up! After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin."
[Hebrews 12:1-4, NLT]

Talk about encouragement, but here are some tough questions that follow...
Are you off and running today? Or are you held up in the starting blocks, still tied to the dock - waiting for the path to clear or the seas to calm? For it is by Faith that we press on and endure the waves, the wind and the storm! So grab your boogie board and lean into Him! Buckle up your 5-point safety harness and ride according to His Will - out of love and adoration for who He is, has been and will forever be in your life! And if you really want to have some fun...surf! The time is now - today is the day!

And no matter what...keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, pursue the Holy Spirit and walk by Faith!

Are we there yet...

"Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him..." [Psalm 37:3-7, NIV]

Trust, Dwell, Delight, Commit, Be Still and Wait! It is tough isn't it! Especially when the world around you and the schemes of the enemy are relentless! When the pressure does not ease! When the "demands", the "dreams", the "expectations", and the "selfish nature" want to get a grip and squeeze you like a vice! But why are you looking there...
God, gives us specific instruction, and a promise we can stand firm on - doesn't he? That if/when we Trust in him, Dwell in him, Delight in him, Commit in him, Be Still in him we can stand firm on righteousness and justice...because "it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. So stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery!" [Galatians 5:1, NIV]
I absolutely love Paul's words written here to the southern churches in Galatia - who were "so quickly deserting...the grace of Christ...and turning to a different gospel, which is really no gospel at all." [see Galatians 1:6], and the foundation that they lay for our true freedom, victory, life, peace, strength, patience, steadfastness, self-control, faithfulness and love that we have in Christ Jesus!
Christ died to set us free! He set us free - not so that we can do whatever we want, and return to a life of slavery, bondage and indulgence to sin - but to do the impossible! Live unselfishly! Walk Faithfully! Wait Patiently! Love Unconditionally! Serve Un-expectantly! And Stand Confidently assured on the Promise that we gave in His Death and Resurrection - Eternal Life! We are saved by His Grace alone! And we must Live Victoriously..."forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead...pressing on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us!" [Philippians 3:14]
Don't turn back! Fix your eyes on Jesus, and let the Holy Spirit guide you! "Do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath...do not fret—it leads only to evil!" [Psalm 37:7-8] For we have been set free from the grip of sin by the blood of Christ! And now...the Holy Spirit's power fills and guides us! We may be "pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed!" [2 Corinthians 4:8-9] I don't know what God's next step is for you or for me, but I do know...there is great peace in the Promise that He is with us every step of the way!

"The Move"...
A couple of months ago we were biking on a "rails to trails" path in Emlenton, PA - traveling north! We came upon an old train tunnel, which we knew was there, but had never traveled through it before! We prepared earlier that day by buying head lights for our bikes - and knew that today was the day for adventure! We were pumped...and headed into the darkness with great anticipation and no light at the end in sight!
As we entered in we could feel the leaks in the old roof as water dripped on us and as we splashed through puddles on the trail. We laughed in anxiousness and yelled in fear at times - that just echoed forever in the distance! The light from the entrance grew very dim, and as we ventured down the path we relied more and more on our head lights - just to see the very inch of pavement before us! I rode in front of Kelly - pulling both kids in a trailer behind me, who were absolutely silent! The only way that I even knew Kelly was even behind me was by our constant conversation and her head light! I couldn't even see her white bike anymore - and so we crept forward every so slowly, stopping several times to regain our balance and bearings!
And then we came upon the reason that there seemed to be no end to the tunnel! For in the middle of this tunnel, was a huge right hand turn, and until you came through it...you couldn't even see the light at the end! Talk about a new definition of physical darkness!

And if you think those opening words and scripture above were for you - Praise the Lord! If not, know they were for Kelly and I this morning! Because right now the only source of light is His Truth, revealed to us by our "head light" - The Holy Spirit! For we find ourselves today at the turn in the middle of this "home search/move" tunnel and we can't seem to see the beginning and we definitely are unable to see the end! We are struggling to see inches in front of us...not going to lie!
These scriptures where laid on our hearts as we prayed/talked together over breakfast and coffee this morning, and it is tough to keep our minds, thoughts, attitudes, eyes fixed on Jesus with this storm's continuous winds, waves, high waters and darkness! But - He is right here! It is not by our own strength that we continue to press on! It is not in our own way that we continue to look forward! And yes - if we walked by sight now - we would fall off the path and crash! We would "turn our back" and desert the very Truth we both have accepted by faith! We are crying out to Him to rescue us - right now - for we can not see the light at the end of the tunnel! We have tried to search for it - in our own way, in our own strength and by our own means - and it has been exhausting -and we are done! We have surrendered the home search to Him and we are pursuing the Holy Spirit in lead us down the path of righteousness and justice! We are trusting in Him (even when we can't see the path) and committing our way to Him, and waiting on the Him to guide and direct our every step!

Carter asked me the other day when we were driving back to the farm after looking at different communities and homes in the South Butler, PA area..."Daddy, are we there yet? Did you find it yet?"
And it crushed us...for that is the same question we have been asking our Heavenly Father - "are we there yet?" "Have we reached the end of this wilderness/forest/tunnel/desert"? And we hear Him say - "just wait for it!" [I just wonder if it gets as annoying to Him as it does to me!"

This morning - our Heavenly Father laid on my heart the Fort Pitt Tunnel as a point of reference - when traveling the Parkway West towards Pittsburgh...and you come through this long, dark, and dirty tunnel - and bam - this glorious scene smacks you in the face!

We can't wait until that day until...when we finally see the light and the fullness of the scene that awaits us at the end of this tunnel! The glorious scene that He is preparing for us right now! Not glorious by the definition of man - but, glorious by the good, pleasing and perfect will of God! We may not see it now, but we will "press on, forgetting the past, and look forward to what lies ahead" by faith!

We continue to cry out to him, asking with him to reveal, teach, mold, shape and transform us by the renewing of our minds! And we plead with Him for BREAKTHOUGH!
Please join us in our prayer for "breakthrough" - and absolute peace, clarity, provision and unity beyond all human understanding in our home! Pray for the miracle of rest, steadfastness and patience to "wait" - agape wait!

We love you...and we can't express with words how much your continued prayers, encouragement and support mean to us! "Breakthrough" can't come soon enough - but, we will wait and stand firm on the Promise of His perfect timing!

All Eyes on Jesus!

He is...

He is...our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, Risen Lord and Savior, the Alpha and Omega, Healer and "Living Water" - "[guiding] you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring." [Isaiah 9:6 and 58:11]

And every time I hear that phrase... my mind goes to the scene with Christ and the Samaritan woman at the well! Imagine the shame, pain, disappointment, discouragement, struggle, embarrassment, guilt, bondage and frustration that must have been upon her shoulders...and in full understanding of who she was, what she had done, and where she has been...Jesus speaks to her and says, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”

And would your response be the same as hers...“But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water? [John 4:9-11]

Do you see the "strategizing", the longing to understand, the need to know how, and the desire for a plan from our earthly perspective! And where are her eyes fixed...on the problem...the depth of the well and the overwhelming amount of obstacles in her way! But do you also see her hearts cry for answers, direction and a drink? For peace, strength and guidance! For rescue, refuge and renewal! And her longing to be healed! And Oh how He loves us...and longs to reveal His Glory, Majesty and Power in our lives! To give us Life in the face of death, Healing in the face sickness and Peace in the face of struggle!

The "good", the "bad" and the "not sure"...

He is beautiful...and it was so awesome, amazing and encouraging to see his tiny, adorable, and incredible face and hand yesterday in 3D! Kel and I have never had a 3D ultrasound in all of our 4 previous pregnancies - but God gave us an awesome gift yesterday when our technician/nurse grabbed the 3D probe and captured a glorious picture of Jackson's face! He was playing peek-a-boo with us during the ultrasound...and Kelly and I just fixed our eyes with sheer amazement to see that he looks so similar to his brother and sister! He definitely has Jordyn's nose and his hands are huge - just like Carter's were! Awesome...truly Awesome and oh what a blessing it was to see him!

The ultrasound showed that Jackson is doing well! No signs of any complications or abnormalities with hydrops, amniotic fluid or placenta! All is normal and all is great! And of course as Dr. Speer sat down and got going with the ultrasound probe - the machine shuts down! And during the 3 minutes of "rebooting", Jackson rolled over and only would show Dr. Speer his spine! It was hilarious...can't wait for these two to meet! Oh wait - they already have when Dr. Speer redefined "laying on of hands" during the surgery!

So with a great ultrasound report...it was back to the waiting room before the echo! And man did Kelly and my heart just break! There was a very young couple - not married - who must have received some very sad, disappointment and discouraging news. The young girl was maybe 15 and her boyfriend maybe 17. Kel and I watched them come in, get called back to the ultrasound, come back out sit down silent and shocked - and two minutes the young man started weeping! And man did I weep with him...my heart was crushed, and not knowing any of the details we flooded them with prayer! We may never know what they are facing - but we could see the strain on their hearts and brokenness they were experiencing on their faces! But I have to to you...I was so proud of this young guy, you should have seen the way he stood tall for the "gem of his eye", the way he wrapped his arms around her in the midst of a full waiting room as tears streamed down his face, the way he comforted her by kissing her hair and forehead, and allowing her to experience safety, care and genuine affection in the midst of crisis! And Lord - I ask right now that you continue to step in, continue to stir in their young hearts as they face this storm! Lord be lifted high in their love, their life and their world! Surround them with your angels and let them experience your Glory, Majesty, Peace and Healing like they never have! Please, Lord...let them seek you! Cover them Lord and let them know that you are with them every step of the way!

The "Good": And so with our hearts shattered for this young couple...we stepped into the echo room! And oh how He heals! After 10 minutes of searching, seeking and pursuing understanding and answers in silence Dr. Sherman spoke..."there is no leak!" Prior to the surgery - Jackson's aorta and aortic valve were so closed and stenotic, and post surgery there was a leak, where the aortic valve was not closing properly and just 14 days ago the "aortic insufficiency" was still very visible in his heart...and yesterday - it was gone! There was no leak and the aorta was clear and blood was flowing and we all stood in amazement...with no answers as to "how" but with the promise of LIVING WATER!!! So Jackson's aortic valve has healed - completely! How awesome is that...

The "Bad": But, he is still very sick and not out of the woods yet as the left side of his heart is still not functioning properly...and this is still of grave concern for the doctors. His left ventricle is not "squeezing" like a normal, developed ventricle should and is still very enlarged with little movement. However...some how there is still pressure and flow being created in the left ventricle - because blood is continuing to flow through the aorta! Again - uncharted water without answers!

The "Not Sure": And speaking of "uncharted water"...Dr. Sherman found what he "believes" to be a retro-grade flow coming back up through the aorta! Meaning that they believe that the body has recognized that there is an insufficiency in the amount of blood flowing through the aorta, and so his body is responding by sending blood from somewhere else to the aorta...from "where" Dr. Sherman and Dr. Speer have no idea! And "what" does this all mean...again, they have no idea! And they are not even sure if this is the really the case - as it could be an "alias"! It is just a waiting game at this point...and a whole new element to our "wait"!

So we continue to pursue the Holy Spirit and keep our eyes fixed on Jesus - as we continue to walk and wait by faith! And we REJOICE - and give our Creator the Praise, Honor and Glory for He alone is worthy!

Urgent Prayer Request...and I plea with you to continue praying for Jackson! Pray that the left side of his heart would "squeeze"! And that in two weeks - the doctors/nurses and all of us would stand amazed at the Healing Power of the Holy Spirit and the Majesty and Strength found in the Power of the Blood that was shed for you and for me on Calvary! Pray that Kel and I continue to find peace in the midst of this house search! We are very weak, tired, frustrated and weary as we continue to walk into what seems "dead ends"! Let us recieve the "no's" with Grace and continue to call on the Name of Jesus to Rescue us and lead us to the home He has prepared- just as He promised in Isaiah 58! He is guiding and leading us - but it does not come without struggle and transformation! Lord, let our minds be renewed...and allow us to continue yielding to the Holy Spirit's prompting/teaching/guiding! And please Lord - bring clarity and peace quickly to our family...you know are needs and you have given us the desire of a new home soon...just as you Promised in Psalm 37:4 as we have drawn near to you...and we ask you to remind us in every moment of your faithfulness, provision and deliverance!

All Eyes on Jesus!

Always...

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus!" [Philippians 4:4-7, NLT]

Did you hear that...Rejoice! Not just sometimes! Not just when things are going well! Not just when the family is getting along, the kids are asleep and all your relationships are peaceful! Not just when the office and your time, energy and talent is experiencing great success or great financial gain! But ALWAYS!

Come on, Lord...Always? Did you really mean "always"? Talk about an impossible posture and perspective! And "Agape Praise" - unconditional and unselfish Praise to our Heavenly Father for the things He has not only done, but is doing and will do in our future is impossible - because we have our eyes fixed on the action, not on the One who is, has been and forever will be! See - that is the HOPE we have in Christ Jesus and in the Promise of the Holy Spirit - that no matter what "happens" in our world, families, communities and personal lives we can shout praise in the midst of trial, testing and tribulation... because He "who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." So give Him Praise - because in our time of weakness, difficulty, adversity, struggle and when we are crushed, tired and perplexed in our "waiting" the Holy Spirit is right beside us - helping us along the journey! [Romans 8:27-28]

And it is impossible - It is absolutely impossible to Agape Praise in every dark valley, every massive storm, and in every shadow of death...unless we fix our eyes on Jesus, pursue the Holy Spirit and present our lives as a living sacrifice before our Heavenly Father! So let us no longer conform "to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of [our] mind. Then [we] will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will!" [Romans 12:1-2, NLT]

And again, please know...just as Paul wrote in Philippians 3:12-15...I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you [and/or me]. But we must hold on to the progress we have already made!

Jackson Update: Today is the day - "that you have made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it!" [gotta love spontaneous singing!] Today is HUGE - ya'll! And we don't know what the news will be, but we do know that the Lord will work it out! We are prepared for "no news" or "bad news", but we are hoping and asking for "great news"! And I plea with you to continue to reinforce the foundation of prayer that you have laid with us! The ultrasound starts at 12:30, and the echo follows around 2! And these appointments are just another opportunity for God to reveal His Glory, Majesty, Power and Healing - and we are praying, petitioning, and requesting with THANKSGIVING - that He who begun the Miracle in Jackson's life and in this family to be completed - and we stand firm on the Promise of 2 Kings 20:5 that He has heard our prayers, seen our tears and surely He will complete the healing in Jackson's heart - we are just not sure how! But He created every cell, and knows Jackson's heart [and our own] more intimately than we could ever fathom! And hey ya'll..."He's got the whole world - in His Hands!"

Move Update: We will rejoice always! [And you thought the sermon was for you...] Because even when we don't see "what" and "where" to rejoice about - we are Rejoicing! Seriously - home shopping can be/is frustrating at times...but God! He is preparing a home for us, and we will "wait" until HE reveals it to us! Jordyn and I went through another 6 homes last night - while Kelly had a girls night out, which included a jewelry party - and experienced another 6 strikeouts! But it is all good - and remember - "no" is answer and with it brings much clarity! Please continue to be in prayer for "where" and "which home"...and ask the Lord to give us the eyes of Joshua and Caleb - that as we go into the land/market of Giants that we see His Promise amongst them!

And please let me say thank you! Thank you again for all your energy, encouragement and support! The way that the Lord is expressing His Strength and Provision through you all is just awesome - and we are so blessed by the community, friends and family that the Lord has brought us into! All Praise, Honor and Glory are His Alone - and we see, hear and are experiencing His unfailing and everlasting Love, Grace, Mercy, Compassion and Peace through you all in ways we never thought possible! Love you all...

And Keep Your Eyes on Jesus!

Squinting in a Fog...

"We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!"
But for right now, until that completeness, three things that will last forever -Faith, Hope and Love! Faith - Trust Steadily! Hope Unswervingly! Love Extravagantly!
Because..."Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up!
Love never loses faith!
Love is always hopeful!
and Love endures through every circumstance!"
Even when you are squinting in a fog!
[1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 and 11-13, NLT and The Message, Emphasis Mine]

I will never forget that day ... the picturesque setting of a gorgeous, December morning, afternoon, and evening with pure-white snow flakes filling the air and inches on the ground that made the luminaries just dance! The music that warmed our hearts and created an environment of reflection, joy and romance. The decorations of Christmas traditions - past and future! The nerves - the stress - and the friends that stood with/beside us, seeing us through moments of trial, struggle and adversity! The celebration that followed with dancing, singing, laughter and joy! But the moment - the snapshot in time - never to be forgotten was the moment Kelly appeared in the doorway at the back of the sanctuary, as a new definition of beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, purity, faith, hope, anticipation, life and love all unfolded before me...and then I saw her turn...and run away down the hall!
She was gone! No joke - it was crazy! One of her favorite movies was/is "Runaway Bride" - and as many times as I watched that movie with her during our dating and engagement - never did I think she would run! But here I am standing in the front of 300 family and friends, nervous as all get out...and see this streak of "white lightning" running down the hall! I thought she was gone forever! We had some rough moments in and through our engagement to say the least - and the one time that I was not right beside her holdering her hand, praying, crying, and sharing encouragement with her...she bolts! Unbelievable!
But I kept my eyes fixed on that door with Faith, Hope and Love - and the woman of my dreams stunningly dressed in pure white appeared in the doorway again, and walked down the isle with her father - after running back to her dressing room to grab the hankerchief that was given to her by her Grandma!
Kel and I specifically and intentionally chose 1 Corinthians 13 to be apart of our wedding day, because of the way that Christ had demonstrated His Love to us in our lives up until that day [and has every day since!] It is a very common scripture - and one that most us have heard and/or had read at that pivotal day in our life's journey! But was it just "read" or did it become a foundational part of your life? Was it just "religious tradition" ...and when the tough times came, and you were peering through a mist or squinting in a fog that you forgot your commitment and vow before your bride/groom and Lord! Was it "lip service" or truly a heart felt cry to your Savior and King? Was it "spotlight faith" or was it a beckon of light that shines in and through every moment, every struggle, every storm, every fog that allows you to stand on a Foundation of Faith that Trusts steadily, Hopes unswervingly, and Loves extravagantly! Because...
God never gives up!
God never loses faith!
God is always hopeful!
and God's Love endures through every circumstance!
For God is Love!
I don't know what you might be facing today, yesterday or tomorrow in your relationships, marriage, job, family or life circumstances, but there is one thing that I do know for sure:

Everlasting, [His] light will shine when all else fades!
Never ending, [His] glory goes beyond all fame!
And the Cry the of My Heart is to bring you Praise - from the Inside out - Lord, my soul cries out!
{From the Inside Out, Hillsong}

And I hope that you allow those lyrics today to be your prayer - let them be a song of praise, a song of hope, and a song of faith that penetrates your life and love - because He alone is, always has been, and forever will be worthy of all Praise, Honor and Glory!

So, let me ask you...have you ever been driving on a cool, clear, pristine night, and all of sudden you come upon dense fog in a valley? You turn your lights down to low beam - turn on your fog lights if equipped - and slow down to a crawl if necessary! Well - this is where we are, and I/we have never experienced a "fog" like we are currently driving through, and have slowed to a crawl! But here is the Truth...God is with us, gone before us and has our back! And even though in the middle of the fog, mist, wilderness, hurricane and desert are times of serene stillness and silence - He is still holding us in His grip of Grace and Mercy!

So, go ahead ask [as many of you already have]...Doug, it has been a week, what's wrong? What is going on? Why have you not written? Everything alright? And my answer - everything is awesome...it is just because it has been very quiet, and the Lord just wanted me to rest, crawl, be still, and allow my time, energy and focus to be on Him, Kel and the kids! Ya'all - just in case you didn't know - silence can be deafening - and we are going through one heck of a test right now! This truly is a perfect storm, and in my day of struggle yesterday my wise counsel reminded me..."The teacher never gives answers during a test!" I remember struggling through test days, both as a teacher and a student! And right now...we are the students! And our Great Teacher has made it very clear, as we are squinting in a fog and peering through the mist that He is going to be very quiet! But - He continues to speak in the silence! And I must say - He is teaching, revealing, preparing us in ways we never imagined! Our faith is being tested, our endurance strengthened, our love - not just for one another, but for Him - expanded exponentially! He is our Refuge, Rescue, Strength and Peace! And we will continue to wait upon His timing! "Where" right now is unknown! But my contentment is in the Truth that He knows the plans HE has for us - even in this time of difficulty, struggle, adversity, preparation and growth! Again - that is His promise, not mine! [Read Jeremiah 29, then go back and read the first 28 chapters for a new sense of weeping, destruction, difficulty, storm and adversity to see the strength of that Promise!]


Kelly Update: She is doing well! She is feeling stronger everyday and continues to recover from the surgery! The 8" incision has healed - amazingly - and is not causing her much pain at this point! She continues to feel pressure, strain and stress over the incision due to Jackson's movement and growth - Hallelujah! She is not sleeping well at night though...and is unable to "relax or unwind" in our current environment/house - so please be in prayer, especially in the late evening/night!

Jackson Update: Continues to bounce! He is moving all over the place - and I swear is training for a WEC cage match! Not sure if he is grappling, punching, kickboxing, or all of the above, but this dude is a fighter - no doubt! [Guess, it is time for daddy to start some weight training!]
We have echo and ultrasound appointments this Thursday afternoon at Magee Women's Hospital, where we are hoping/praying/looking forward to seeing some "signs of measurable" improvement in his heart!

Move Update: We continue to "pursue" the house that He has prepared for us! We have looked at more than 100 homes over the internet in the last month, toured more than 10 in the last week, and have had some wonderful conversations of potential with strangers and friends, but at this point - nothing! It has been discouraging, perplexing and crushing at times - BUT God is faithful! And His delays are not His denials! The "renters market" in Western PA - is obsolete and "ugly" to say the least! It is just not part of our culture here - and so if you know of anyone that is not sure if they want to sell their home or not at this time with the current state of the market, but are needing to move/relocate...please share a conversation/prayer with them! At this point we are willing to rent or purchase a home, but only at the Lord's leading/clarity and peace! And our prayer continues to be one of surrender, openness and willingness to go wherever He is leading and preparing before us! We are excited - and ever hoping that the move out of this wilderness is coming soon! But it is all in His timing!

Prayer Requests: Please continue to be in prayer for Strength, Peace and the Perseverance! Pray for Kelly's rest and continued recovery! Pray for measurable signs of improvement this week in Jackson's heart and for his continued healing! Carter and Jordyn also need our prayers - Carter is growing anxious, and Jordyn is just completely out of her element at this point, and "acting it out" to express her emotions, which is awesome and exhausting at the same time! But, we are very thankful for the ways the Lord continues to grow us in our parenting and relationships with our children! We have had some awesome conversations and laughs with Carter, as he continues to be a prayer warrior for Jackson's healing and our move!

And even as we continue to feel the pressure, weight and strain - and see Giants in the Land - we stand firm on His promises in this time of preparation! His Love is unfailing, never ending and everlasting! And He is not about to give up on us, so let's never give up on Him! He is Faithful...even though we walk through a valley of fog...and ask the Holy Spirit to rain down!

My heart and my soul - Lord I give you control - Consume me from the inside out! Lord, Let justice and praise become my embrace -To love You from the inside out!

All Eyes on Jesus!

What are you looking at...

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin." [Hebrews 12:1-4]

I can't begin to tell you how many times I have had the opportunity to "talk someone off the edge" - who truly just wants it all to end, is willing to throw in the towel, wave the white flag and surrender to the way and scheme of this world! And I have also seen the devastation to families, friends, organizations and communities that is left in the wake when we give up, turn our back, say "it isn't worth the fight", or walk away...when we know that the "Champion who initiates and perfects our faith" is calling us to that mountain, storm, or fire that "it" may seem to be! I don't know what you might be facing today, and I don't know all the areas in your life that the Lord is currently "shaking" - but we run with endurance the race God set before us, by fixing our Eyes on Jesus! So don't look at wight might seem to be the edge, cliff, weight, storm, mountain, giant, fire, desert or wilderness [talking to myself there] - but rather fix your position, posture and perspective on our Risen Savior, seated at the right hand of our Heavenly Father, because He is the author and finisher of our faith and promises to be right here with us, has gone before us, and has our back! Your next breath, next step, or next conversation may just be the point of break through - so hold firm to the Promise and stand on the Strong Foundation that was, is and will forever be Christ Jesus!

Kelly Update: Doing very well! You can see a "little" spring in her step this morning - though she still gets quite exhausted after a morning of activity with Carter and Jordyn - especially! Our Jordyn has more energy, personality and "go" than I have ever seen before! She makes me look like I am sitting still - imagine that! And Carter - what an awesome big brother, helper and encourager! Our little man has been a rock of faith through this whole journey at 5 years old - and continues to be a mighty prayer warrior for his little brother! This morning he climbed into bed with Kel and I and was so excited because he did the math and said "there is going to be 5 of us! And then 6!" LOL...
But overall Kelly is doing well! She is probably "lifting" and carrying a little more weight than she should at this point - but don't try to stop her or tell her she can't - because the athlete she is comes out and game on! She has been without her "heavy" pain meds for four days now, and taking Tylenol every now and then for the normal headaches and pain associated with a regular pregnancy! She still feels a great amount of pressure around the incision, but that is to be expected!

Jackson Update: Continues to move, dance and flip in the womb - and I believe loving every minute of his healing environment - aka Kelly's Spa! He is amazing and I can't wait to hold him in my arms in 17 weeks! We will not have an echo or ultrasound this week, as the doctors have decided - after this past Thursday's findings - to check him every other week in hopes of being able to see "measurable signs" of development! So the wait is on - and again commit him to the Lord's care and healing!

Move Update: Please pray today - actually go ahead and pray right now! We are taking a road trip later today to look at and pray through some homes and see if the Lord is opening up an opportunity for us to walk into! We are encouraged with a couple of "prospects" - but then again the Pittsburgh Pirates are too! [Sorry to all you Pirate fans on that one - but the truth hurts sometimes!] We know that the Lord has called us to this time in the "wilderness" and we are content in His Peace and Strength, and stand firm on His Promise - that we can do all things through Him - who is our Strength!

Thanks again for standing in the gap with us, and this is my encouragement to you today "...take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong..." and please...pick up your bible and read through the rest of Hebrews 12 - right now! [And don't you dare make "don't have a bible with me" an excuse - go to www.biblegateway.com right now and soak in some Hope, Truth and Life!]

Keep going...and Fix Your Eyes on Jesus!

Let God Guide Your Dreams...

"In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness.
Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.
Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge.
Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth." [Psalm 31:1-5]

Over the last week - Psalm 31 has been a rock of Truth for Kelly and I. Every morning we have started our prayer/devotional time together with this simple, yet very profound piece of transparency that we receive from the Lord through David's heart cry! The Lord is our Refuge and our Strength, and into His hands we do commit our spirit...for He is the God of Truth!
It has been quite the week - and I must apologize for not updating the blog more consistently this week - though it wasn't for a lack of not wanting to! I know how essential it is to continue to keep the "prayer warriors" updated - but, at the same time, I also know the Promise and Power of the Holy Spirit that when you surrender control, and allow Him to open your eyes, ears and heart He will guide you in your time of prayer, and teach/reveal things to you...that you might quite honestly never thought possible!

Quick recap of the week...

Tuesday night: was wonderful! Kel was feeling good, the kids were rested, and we felt lead to head over to Whitehall Camp and Conference Center for the annual Family Campmeeting of the Western PA, Church of God. Kel and I have attended the Campmeeting for the last 7 years together, and Kelly grew up "on the grounds" - so I hear! And I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it was to see those who have been supporting, praying, encouraging and just lovin' on us behind the scenes over the last month as we walk through this by faith! The expression, demonstration and just down right outpouring of God's Grace, Love, Care and Strength through you continues to overwhelm us! It was a wonderful - and late - night of conversation, encouragement and truth during our time at dinner, on the grounds and in the worship service - and the crazy thing of it all...Brother Mitchell - preached on so many elements that I have been lead to write here in the blog...and God definitely had my attention!
Wednesday was a day of recovery! And we learned that not getting the kids to bed until after 11:00pm may have not been the best decision, and Jordyn decided that she was going to get up at 3am (after crying herself to sleep around midnight) and not go back down until 4:30am! Ouch...and just not a good start to the day! Of course - being up with her for an hour and half, did not help daddy's sleep in any way...so a very short and rough night sleep ushered in a very long day of activity and work! And by the time Katie showed up Wednesday evening to help out with the kids - man, was she ever an answer to prayer for some very tired and weary souls! I was so exhausted - I just needed to "get away" for a half hour - so I jumped on the four-wheeler and just went to the woods, soaked in the quiet and prayed - while putting up a couple of trail cams! And then it was bed time for the kiddos - which I have to tell you has to be one of the best parts of the day! Not because I know that "quiet" is minutes away - but because of the opportunity to read stories, the bible, pray, and sing to the kids as I tuck them in has been something that I have missed time and time again when I am traveling - or just to lazy to do it! Just being honest...nothing better than watching two precious children of God lay asleep in your arms as I whisper "let God guide your dreams!"
Thursday - after a good night sleep, and an early rise - we got on the road around 7:30 to be in Pittsburgh by 9:00am for our echo appointment. After a great, Venti Caramel Macchiato with extra caramel drizzle under the foam and a slice of lemon loaf from Starbucks - the new breakfast of champions ya'all! - I was pumped full of caffeine and sugar, and ready for some good news! But, man did I learn something about expectation this morning! Before I go into this...please receive these words from our very wise counsel and a brother in Christ, who we dearly love - "be prepared for bad news, but be hopeful for good!" See we forgot the preparation part, and found ourselves just expecting good news - but what we found during the echo was "no news" - which we were not prepared for! We were wanting great news, and "no news" was a huge discouragement...partly on our lack of preparation! What Dr. Sherman found was that Jackson's heart had no "measurable" signs of improvement! Meaning - that there was no physical/medical/measurable signs of improvement in Jackson's heart over the last week. There is still a great improvement between pre and post operation - but in the last week, his velocities, flow, movement, development in the left side of his heart showed no measurable signs of improvement. To us - this is "no news" - not necessarily bad news, but we did find out that if things don't drastically improve and heal in the next 17 weeks, we may very well be looking at the Norwood surgeries (3 stage, surgery process at birth, 2-3 months, and again at 2-3 years to recirculate the blood from the right side) as Jackson would only have single pumping station - the right side of his heart, and the left will not function. SO...Jackson is by no means out of the woods at this point - and is in desperate need of prayer, healing and the divine intervention of our Risen Lord and Savior - and no matter how hard the road, uphill the mountain, or strong the storm - God is our Refuge and our Strength! He is the Great Physcian and Healer
And so as we waited in the FDTC waiting room in Magee Women's Hospital - and after a good cry together - I sent out a quick prayer text and asked for some encouraging news! And GOD DELIVERED! Come on ya'all check this...so we walk into the ultrasound now (second appointment of the morning) and Dr. Speer is up to the plate. Dr. Speer - great brother in Christ and wise counsel who attends our home church - shares with us that Jackson is doing great! Over the last two weeks, his growth is up 70%! With NO SIGNS of any complications from/during the surgery or hydrops (fluid around the organs and a possible sign of being anemic or organ failure) and that his development is great! Jackson was on the move during the ultrasound, and at one point - laid on his side in the fetal position with his hand over his ear looking right at us on the monitor...almost to say - "mommy and daddy, I am here, doing well and I love you! Don't listen to these knuckleheads! You get rested up in the next 17 weeks - cause I am coming out fightin!" So Holy Spirit rain down! Rain Down on Jackson's life! Rain Down your healing! Rain Down you encouragement, patience, gentleness, love and self-control! Because you - Oh, Lord - are our Rescue and Refuge!
And man - Rescue and Refuge - is exactly what we needed for the next part of our Thursday! After a great lunch at Panera, we were off to our appointment with a financial advisor/broker to hopefully gain some direction and clarity into our move and housing situation! Well let me tell you...Tim Gray from Princeton Financial - is a young guy, with a great education I might add from The Pennsylvania State University - that shot straight with us, gave clarity and definitely left a mark! Could have something to do with the fact that the dude is almost 7 foot tall - no short jokes here! But, honestly, as went into this conversation - and with more clarity coming out - we are not going to be going after a mortgage at this point! Not because we can't...because it would just not be best or what the Lord is leading us to do! We have made the decision both with sound logic, but also with great Peace and Unity between Kelly and I, and the Lord, that He is leading us to a short term lease situation to meet our short term needs! You can not base a long term decision on a short term set of information, and as some great wise counsel that was shared with us the other day that "rings with truth": "The easiest way for the enemy to take you out [ hope you hear this church, and Western PA] - is to be planted!" And let us learn that lesson from the Master himself! Jesus was on the move...and many times to the dismay and confusion of his disciples - but, He went where His Father led him! That's it, and that is exactly what we will do! We will wait until we have clear direction and great peace in where - but, right now - we will definitely not be locking into a mortgage and "planting" ourselves in home ownership! Now - don't get me wrong here...not saying that if you own a home you that you have been disobedient to the Lord - but if Kel and I were to do that right now...we would be! So we are seeking His will and asking Him to open doors as to where He has prepared a place for us! And I can't wait to see what He has in store! We found a couple of homes in the Northern Allegheny/Butler County Line area that we are looking at for a short term lease ... and we are "leaning in" to see if this is the place he has prepared! And so PLEASE be in prayer for us regarding the move/house...we feel the strain of adversity and the stress of difficulty in our current situation at the farm, and we recognize we are in the dessert [or wilderness if you prefer] - but just as Paul kept his focus, "...I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty!" [Philippians 4:11-14]...we pray and seek contentment in our present day journey!
Lord I ask - that you continue to give Kelly and I the perspective of Joshua and Caleb that in the midst of this dessert journey right now, we are weary and tired, we see the giants and the mountains, and we don't have "sight" but behind us...and so God we ask that you continue to reach down from Heaven and touch us! Touch us with your Guidance, Provision, Strength, Joy and Peace - and Lord continue to unite us with you through your Son - our Lord and Savior - Christ Jesus!
Friday was a day of rest! I worked in the morning through the early part of the afternoon - and had some awesome conversations with awesome partners/ambassadors in the Gospel and of the BGEA - and what encouragement was shared through some that I have never even met! Jordyn and I mowed the back yard (which, took an hour with a 60" mower deck! lol...) and then we had a cook out - just the four of us - with corn, hot dogs over the fire and ended the night with smores! It was a blast - and just the perfect way to enter into a great weekend!

And today...we are heading to Whitehall again today for the "family fun day" and can't wait to see how the Lord moves in and through our time on His Holy Ground! Again, sorry for the delay in the update - but, I hope you all have an awesome weekend, and do me a favor..."Let God Guide Your Dreams!" Love ya!

All Eyes on Jesus...

Waiting is impossible...

"...let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love." [1 John 4:7]

This scripture was the focus of our devotional time this morning from the "Love Dare" [which I must say is a wonderful "couples" devotional - whether you are dating, engaged, newly weds, married for 5, 10 or 50 years! All the "dares" may or may not apply - but the teaching and the devotionals are just awesome - and can lead to some conversations you never thought you could or would have! Promise - lean into it!] and today's title [Day 19] is "Love is Impossible". Which, when you unwrap 1 John 4 is absolutely true! Unless you know God and are a child of God you cannot "manufacture unconditional (or agape) love out of your own heart. It's impossible! It is [truly] beyond your capabilities. It's beyond all our capabilities. You may have demonstrated kindness and unselfishness in some form, and you may have learned to be more thoughtful and considerate. But sincerely loving someone unselfishly and unconditionally is another matter altogether!"

I love that phrase..."loving someone unselfishly and unconditionally"... and we both know that kind of love - agape love - only comes from God - who is love! And watch this...substitute "wait" for love! Sincerely "waiting"...unselfishly and unconditionally...is another matter altogether!

Man, is that ever true! I mean seriously...we can begin to grab a hold of the truth in 1 John 4:7-21...if we are a child of God - knowing Christ as our Lord and Savior - because of the Promise and indwelling of the Holy Spirit in lives! The Holy Spirit [by the way is the Ghost Writer of this blog, because you and I both know this guys is not a writer - just ask my English teachers and professors! This guy was a "math teacher" for crying out loud!] reveals to us and teaches us through the "refiner's fire" that God is love, and that the ability and capability to love one another as Christ first loved us - by giving up His life so that we may live free from the bondage of death and sin - only comes through the Strength and Peace of our Heavenly Father! And "let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything." [1 John 3: 18-19]
And Agape Waiting...unselfishly and unconditionally...is Seriously Ridiculous! And it is a great lesson our Heavenly Father is teaching the two of us - right now! We know His Promise that Strength will rise as we Wait Upon Him...but the ability and capability to do just that - Wait Upon the Lord - only comes from God Himself, through our relationship with His Son and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit! I can't begin to tell you how impossible it is to wait unselfishly and unconditionally right now - especially for this knucklehead! We have just come through an incredible miracle, both in Jackson's life and in our move...and trust me, walking by Faith is the only way we arrived here in Dayton, PA...because if we would have "seen" this move to the farm coming - there would have been "some serious rebellion" as our wise counsel laughingly shared with us last night over dinner! And now...He wants us to "wait" here! And to not to just wait, but "agape wait" - unselfishly and unconditionally - not placing any "expectations" on Him, or where and what, He has in store! Come on...
But, we will! We will wait right here until He gives us clarity, direction, peace, and unity! And that is exactly what He is asking/calling/encouraging us to do! Wait! Agape Wait - and it is absolutely impossible without the Holy Spirit renewing, reviving, comforting, leading, prompting, guiding, encouraging, teaching and holding us tightly in His Grip of Grace! And I plea with you...pray for us! Reinforce our foundation of prayer and Faith daily! Because Faith is not understanding...it is accepting! [John 6:60] Accepting that He is the Son of God, and that He died for us - taking away the sting of death and the penalty our sin - that He was raised to the right hand of the Father - giving us eternal life - and He gave us the Promise of the Holy Spirit, and that He is coming back again! It is accepting that He knows the plans He has for us, and that Greater things are yet to come! We don't understand "why" right now...but we do accept it! And we will continue to walk by Faith and not by sight!
Heavenly Father...thank you! Thank you for the way that you have allowed Kelly and I to fall into your Grace, Mercy and Comfort in this time of waiting! Thank you for loving us in all the ways you do! And thank you, Father, for expressing and demonstrating your love and promise of life to us through this journey! Lord, allow us to continue to walk by faith in these uncertain times - accepting your ways, plan and future...unselfishly and unconditionally...for you are our Hope and Joy!

[Sorry, had to get that out! Just like Carter who had to pee so bad this morning, after holding it for 24hrs because his fish - "Bolt" - died this weekend, and we gave him a proper funeral/burial down the toilet - and Carter did not want to pee on him. Great story - and one that I will definitely use for a sermon illustration some day! Can't wait...]

Kelly Update: She is feeling stronger and more comfortable every day - but, still in some considerable pain at times with her incision! She is still "weaning" off the pain meds, and trying to rely on just Tylenol through out the day! She is amazing! And absolutely beautiful..and oh how blessed Carter, Jordyn, Jackson and I are to have her as mommy, wife and a rock of faith in our family! Her transformation and growth over the last month has been awesome! And to sit back and watch her fall in love with and rely on her Savior -Christ Jesus more and more, each day is just incredible! And please continue to pray for her recovery, comfort, strength and peace in this "wait"! She is so ready to find a house and get it set up as a "home" in preparation of Jackson's arrival [gotta love the intense "nesting" hormones that accompany pregnancy] - but she is undoubtably yielding to the Holy Spirit in her life, and putting away her selfish desires as we lean into this time of renewal, revival and retreat!

Jackson Update: Continues to kick and flip inside of Kel! I swear I was literally watching him do the "David Dance" last night as we went to bed - he was moving all over the place! We have a morning at the hospital on Thursday - with another Echo and Ultrasound - and can't wait to see and hear how he is healing and growing! Please join us as we continue to pray and plea that God to complete the healing that He has begun in Jackson's heart/life!

Move Update: We will continue to "Be Still, and know that He is God!" [Psalm 46:10]. Please continue to pray for surrender, clarity, unity, wisdom and provision in our move! We have an appointment Thursday afternoon with a financial advisor/broker and will be meeting with an awesome young couple - who attends the same church as us, NorthWay - who are being relocated to CA this month, and have a home that we may be able to rent - since they are not wanting to sell right now! We will see...and trust that God will shut the door, if this is not the home He has prepared for us!

Love ya'all and please continue to stand firm on the Promise and hard teaching of Christ, that:
"Apart from Me, you can do nothing...[but], if you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you!" - and - "May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God." [John 15: 5.7 and Ephesians 3:19]

All Eyes on Jesus!

And be sure of this:

"...I am with you always..." [Jesus' words - Matthew 28:20]

Jesus knows how you feel. You are so precious to Him. So precious that He became like you so that you would come to Him...
When you struggle - He listens!
When you yearn - He responds!
When you question - He hears!
Jesus understands, He cares, and He will be with you! He will not only make a difference, He will be the difference! [Max Lucado]

Talk about encouragement! These words, written by one of my favorite authors - Max Lucado, were on the cover of a beautiful card that Kel and I received early this morning from a friend/co-worker of my mom's - Karen. This relationship/connection is amazing and completely God! Check this out...
When I was in Mr. Rogers' sixth grade class at Farmdale Elementary School, we had kindergarten buddies, and Karen's son - Kyle - was my buddy! When my mom was sharing our story/blog with Karen at work two weeks ago, she went home and shared it with Kyle - and that is when Kyle made the connection that the two of us were paired up over 15 years ago! And inside her card - was a scanned picture of Kyle's kindergarten class, and my sixth grade class from an old year book! The tears are still flowing as I write this...How awesome is our God!
I hope that you can see Christ in this - because He just demonstrated His Love and Promise of "and be sure of this: I am with you always!" He is so macro - yet so micro and it’s the little things, the smallest of details and the incredible connections like this relationship that allows His Majesty and Omnipresence to be revealed! And the amazing ways that He continues to demonstrate His Love for us through you...is just incredible! Your cards, notes, messages, meals, hand knitted blankets for Jackson, gift bags full of toys for Carter and Jordyn - complete with "Monkeys in a Jar", a jump rope to replace the one Carter had lost in the move and a baby doll - financial gifts, text message prayers, facebook notes and all the other ways you - The Church - have stood in the gap with us...is overwhelming! And I pray that we have the opportunity to wrap our arms around you and thank you for all the ways you have demonstrated His Love, Wisdom, Guidance, Provision, Strength and Peace in our journey!

Kelly Update: She is feeling better this weekend - still in some pain, but slowly weaning off the heavy pain meds - which is helping her nausea tremendously! She had a doctor's appointment yesterday with Dr. Mallinger - her OB/GYN who delivered both Carter and Jordyn - and we will continue our monthly appointments with him to make sure that Kel is doing alright and getting the care/support she needs with her "high risk" pregnancy! Dr. Mallinger was on vacation over the last week - and was so excited to see us and hear the great news of Jackson/Kelly's procedure!

Jackson Update: He continues to flip/somersault in Kelly's belly - you can visibly see him moving at times, and yesterday his heart beat was strong - between 145-150 beats per minute! We will have another echo/ultrasound this coming Thursday - and will actually have weekly Thursday ultrasound/echos the rest of the way until delivery in December! All the doctor's we have spoke with in the last week - have just been so encouraged, excited and intrigued by Jackson and Kelly's surgery and recovery - and we continue to give all Praise, Honor and Glory to God alone! There is no doubt that these men and women that make up our team of doctors are incredibly gifted with intelligence and talent - but, we know their Creator! And Jackson is His creation - and man we are blessed!

Move Update: After a week in Dayton - and what an up and down week it has been emotionally and physically - we are ready to get back into the "home shopping" scene/process/network! We have great peace, and will stand firm in His strength that He is in control of this process - and that includes His Timing and Provision! Please pray for clarity, provision, and wisdom as we lean into what He has in store for us, as we will continue to be "anxious in nothing, but in everything - through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving - present our requests to God!" [Philippians 4:6] We are open to whatever He is/has prepared for us - whether it is a renting, lease to purchase, mortgage, new construction situation, etc - we are just seeking His Will in this search!

Thank you again...for your continued reinforcement, encouragement and love in and through your faithful prayers! Have an awesome weekend...we love you so much and can't wait to see what the Lord has in store next!

All Eyes on Jesus!