It is your turn now...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones." [Proverbs 3:5-8, NLT]
"...you must continue to believe this truth and stand firmly in it. Don’t drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News...I am glad when I suffer for you in my body, for I am participating in the sufferings of Christ that continue for his body, the church." [ Colossians 1:23-24, NLT]


Last Thursday morning...Carter came running up to me and said, "Daddy, Daddy...I am so frustrated and very upset!" Of course, I paused and said, "what's wrong bud?" He then went into sharing the frustration he was experiencing as he attempted to build a pirate ship with his Legos. He had built the left and right sides of the base (hull), but could not seem to get the two of them to join together. So, I encouraged him - I thought - that sometimes it is best for us to start over, and make sure that we have built things correctly, and that one little mistake may not allow us to put "whatever it is" together right. [It was actually the "quick" answer...because I really didn't have the time to help him right then and there! Just being honest...]
So, Carter goes back to the family room, takes the left and right sides apart, rebuilds them - and 5 minutes later...I hear Legos being chucked across the room as now Carter is crying out his frustration! If the kid knew swear words - he probably would have used them at that point! He was jacked!
So, I stopped working...went out to assess the situation, and upon my arrival...boy did he ever give me a look! He was so mad at me! Here he had built the left and right sides correct the first time, took them apart and rebuilt them a second time perfectly and still could not get them to fit. So, I sat down with him on the floor and asked if he would let me help. Carter handed me the two sides...and guess what...I couldn't even get them to go together! Man, did I ever feel like a jerk! The box says for kids 5-7...what about daddy's who are 30? It must have taken me three or four minutes to figure out what to do, and finally I got the two sides connected...handed them back to Carter, gave him a huge hug, said I was sorry...and wiped the crocodile tears off his cheek, that were streaming down from those beautiful blue eyes of his!
And as I went back to my office (aka - the bedroom we are staying in here at the farm) I was broken! It is the perfect story of how this journey has been for Kelly and I. I truly believe that we have built the left and right sides of the "hull" correctly and for whatever reason - I can't get them to fit together. And trusting in my own understanding, I tore things apart...a couple of times...and tried to "rebuild" to reach the same exact end!
Have you ever been there before? When things just don't/won't come together, knowing full well that you did everything "according to the instructions" correctly! I mean - Kelly and I have been walking with our eyes fixed on Jesus, seeking the Lord's Will for our lives in this journey and pursuing the Holy Spirit! But - things are just not coming together! Was it sin? Did I do something wrong, did she? Did we skip a step, miss something or mess up somewhere?
These are just some of the thoughts I have had to renounce over the last two weeks...but if I only had the faith of my son...who goes directly to his "daddy" when he is frustrated...not just for a quick answer - but fully relying on the provision, wisdom and knowledge to teach him what to do! What a lesson...what truth...and all through the eyes, heart, and tears of a child!
And this is the Truth...our Heavenly Father, doesn't act like us earthly fathers. He doesn't give a quick answer and send us away! He gets down on his knees, wipes the tears and makes every situation a character lesson! Every situation...for His Grace, Mercy and Compassion are not limited by our circumstances! He is not worried about how much time it takes, how hard it is, or how happy, comfortable, secure we "feel"...He is concerned about forming, molding, shaping and developing our character to be more like His Son's - period! Why - for the edification, unity and growth of His Body...the Church...and the advancement of His Kingdom, restoring His Glory and Image through those He calls His own - those believing in the Life, Death, Resurrection and Return of our Savior - Christ Jesus - who died on Calvary's Cross to set us free from the death and bondage of our sin! And just as the Lord encouraged Joshua - "as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you." [Joshua 1:5] - He encourages us today! Sometimes it may "feel" like He has left us...but He never will! We can never out run His grip of Grace...and sometimes we must let our head lead our heart! For transformation comes through the renewing of our mind! [see Romans 12]


Move Update:
Broken bread...and squeezed out wine! That is where we are! Sahara Drive is no longer an option...and it is not because of Stan and Karen! They are an absolutely amazing couple, and have become dear friends! They too have/are going through quite a journey-and need our prayers! They are moving - not to the home they "thought" they were going to purchase 3 weeks ago, as they have discerned it is not the Will of God to buy that home, but they are hopefully buying another home in the area - have made an offer, and things look like they are moving forward...but we are not with Sahara Drive!
The best way to describe the last week is through this analogy: Many of us - if not all - have experienced a Capital Stewardship Campaign with a non-profit organization or a church. I have had several experiences and leadership roles with such campaigns...and many times there are "faith pledges" made that are never followed through on in action! And those undelivered "faith intentions" have tremendous impact - from a ministry stand-point! And don't get me wrong...God can feed 50,000 with two fish and five loaves of bread - with leftovers - when we act according to His will - by Trusting, Obeying, and Fixing our Eyes on Jesus! But Christ specifically teaches us in Luke 14..."But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. They would say, ‘There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’
“Or what king would go to war against another king without first sitting down with his counselors to discuss whether his army of 10,000 could defeat the 20,000 soldiers marching against him? And if he can’t, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace while the enemy is still far away." [vs: 28-32, NLT]
And for many of us...we may receive this scripture only through a financial perspective, but Christ is teaching us here about the cost of being His disciple! What is the cost of being a "sold out, surrendered" follower of Jesus Christ? Giving up everything we own! Especially what this broken world tells us we "deserve"! It may mean the loss of social status or wealth. Or giving up control of our time, money, career or what we may see as a dream home. No wonder Christianity has an image problem...because just as Christ taught us...“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed? If anyone is ashamed of me and my message, the Son of Man will be ashamed of that person when he returns in his glory and in the glory of the Father and the holy angels." [Luke 9:23-26, NLT]
Do I believe that Christ led us to Sahara Drive? I do! Why? For His Glory to be revealed! For it was never about a house...it may have only been for the prayer with Victoria Jackson in Citizen's Bank, or the awesome friendship we now have with Stan and Karen! Are they disappointed? You better believe it! For they too felt God wanted us in their home! But - we must let go and lay down our selfish desires, hopes and dreams - pick up our cross - and follow Him daily, even when we don't know why! We must give up our plan, and accept His! For Christ taught us...you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own! [vs. 33]

So what does all this mean...we have counted the costs...and I am not about to lay a foundation, without the resources necessary to build a home - where life, community and ministry collide! I can't make a commitment to "home ownership" for it is not of the Lord - for us - at this time! Could we "get into" and close on Sahara Drive, yeah - but through countless hours of prayer, petition and conversation with our wise counsel...there was just no unity or peace in the decision to "buy" a home! God has called us to be "wise stewards" of His resources - for He owns everything, and we are just managers of His provision - and Wisdom has spoken with great peace and unity - that right now - we must lay down Sahara Drive! There are too many unknowns with all the medical bills we may/are facing for Kelly and Jackson [as we are still rebounding from my medical bills following the motorcycle accident/miracle], the extent of care that will be needed in the early years of Jackson's life, the transitional nature of ministry and the call to mobilize and preach the Gospel, and though we could have closed on Sahara Drive the resources were not made available to have the margin necessary for the "unknowns" - and I was not about to commit "financial suicide" in the midst of this storm! We have made some "dumb" financial decisions in the past - and for those experiences, I Praise the Lord - for He has turned those "immature" decisions into great teaching moments and I am so thankful for the provision and resources He has blessed us with, and called us to manage with His Wisdom!
We continue to Praise God for who He is and for the way he continues to reveal himself to us through our wise counsel and the awesome men and women of Faith - who continue to reinforce the foundation of prayer and express the grace, love, compassion and care of our Heavenly Father! We stand firm on the Promise that in Christ lies hidden all the treasures of Wisdom and Knowledge - and to see that demonstrated through you all - is absolutely overwhelming!!!

So, God...here are the left and right sides, which I/we have built through your instruction and direction - the tears of frustration have emerged, due to my reliance on my own knowledge. But Lord, I can't put them together, and I need your help! Thank you for never letting go, never forsaking and always waiting for us to turn to you! It is your turn now...

And you know the greatest thing...15 minutes later, Carter knocked on the door and was so excited to show me the amazing pirate ship he built! It was awesome...and I was/am so proud of him!

[Now you know the reason for the "silence" in the blog...for there is a time to speak/write and there is a time to listen! Prayer is a two way street as we seek God's will in our lives...sometimes we need to talk it out, more often we should listen! That is why I truly believe that God created us with two ears, and one mouth! I will keep you updated on the move...as we are currently praying through several scenarios and Trusting in the Lord for continued clarity, peace, unity and provision! He is Faithful...and He is in control!]

Jackson update:
Please be in prayer tomorrow morning as we meet with our team of doctors! It has been over a month now - since our last echo and ultra sound, and we are ready to see the little man! He is moving all over the place and I feel so bad for Kelly - Jackson is a mover and a shaker! Kelly is feeling well and "enjoying" being 8 months pregnant and the normalises that come with the journey! We are only 8 weeks out - and can't wait to have this little Promise and Miracle in our arms!

Love you all...and make sure you check back tomorrow night/Friday morning for an update on Jackson!

All Eyes on Jesus - now ya' hear!