Squinting in a Fog...

"We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!"
But for right now, until that completeness, three things that will last forever -Faith, Hope and Love! Faith - Trust Steadily! Hope Unswervingly! Love Extravagantly!
Because..."Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up!
Love never loses faith!
Love is always hopeful!
and Love endures through every circumstance!"
Even when you are squinting in a fog!
[1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 and 11-13, NLT and The Message, Emphasis Mine]

I will never forget that day ... the picturesque setting of a gorgeous, December morning, afternoon, and evening with pure-white snow flakes filling the air and inches on the ground that made the luminaries just dance! The music that warmed our hearts and created an environment of reflection, joy and romance. The decorations of Christmas traditions - past and future! The nerves - the stress - and the friends that stood with/beside us, seeing us through moments of trial, struggle and adversity! The celebration that followed with dancing, singing, laughter and joy! But the moment - the snapshot in time - never to be forgotten was the moment Kelly appeared in the doorway at the back of the sanctuary, as a new definition of beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, purity, faith, hope, anticipation, life and love all unfolded before me...and then I saw her turn...and run away down the hall!
She was gone! No joke - it was crazy! One of her favorite movies was/is "Runaway Bride" - and as many times as I watched that movie with her during our dating and engagement - never did I think she would run! But here I am standing in the front of 300 family and friends, nervous as all get out...and see this streak of "white lightning" running down the hall! I thought she was gone forever! We had some rough moments in and through our engagement to say the least - and the one time that I was not right beside her holdering her hand, praying, crying, and sharing encouragement with her...she bolts! Unbelievable!
But I kept my eyes fixed on that door with Faith, Hope and Love - and the woman of my dreams stunningly dressed in pure white appeared in the doorway again, and walked down the isle with her father - after running back to her dressing room to grab the hankerchief that was given to her by her Grandma!
Kel and I specifically and intentionally chose 1 Corinthians 13 to be apart of our wedding day, because of the way that Christ had demonstrated His Love to us in our lives up until that day [and has every day since!] It is a very common scripture - and one that most us have heard and/or had read at that pivotal day in our life's journey! But was it just "read" or did it become a foundational part of your life? Was it just "religious tradition" ...and when the tough times came, and you were peering through a mist or squinting in a fog that you forgot your commitment and vow before your bride/groom and Lord! Was it "lip service" or truly a heart felt cry to your Savior and King? Was it "spotlight faith" or was it a beckon of light that shines in and through every moment, every struggle, every storm, every fog that allows you to stand on a Foundation of Faith that Trusts steadily, Hopes unswervingly, and Loves extravagantly! Because...
God never gives up!
God never loses faith!
God is always hopeful!
and God's Love endures through every circumstance!
For God is Love!
I don't know what you might be facing today, yesterday or tomorrow in your relationships, marriage, job, family or life circumstances, but there is one thing that I do know for sure:

Everlasting, [His] light will shine when all else fades!
Never ending, [His] glory goes beyond all fame!
And the Cry the of My Heart is to bring you Praise - from the Inside out - Lord, my soul cries out!
{From the Inside Out, Hillsong}

And I hope that you allow those lyrics today to be your prayer - let them be a song of praise, a song of hope, and a song of faith that penetrates your life and love - because He alone is, always has been, and forever will be worthy of all Praise, Honor and Glory!

So, let me ask you...have you ever been driving on a cool, clear, pristine night, and all of sudden you come upon dense fog in a valley? You turn your lights down to low beam - turn on your fog lights if equipped - and slow down to a crawl if necessary! Well - this is where we are, and I/we have never experienced a "fog" like we are currently driving through, and have slowed to a crawl! But here is the Truth...God is with us, gone before us and has our back! And even though in the middle of the fog, mist, wilderness, hurricane and desert are times of serene stillness and silence - He is still holding us in His grip of Grace and Mercy!

So, go ahead ask [as many of you already have]...Doug, it has been a week, what's wrong? What is going on? Why have you not written? Everything alright? And my answer - everything is awesome...it is just because it has been very quiet, and the Lord just wanted me to rest, crawl, be still, and allow my time, energy and focus to be on Him, Kel and the kids! Ya'all - just in case you didn't know - silence can be deafening - and we are going through one heck of a test right now! This truly is a perfect storm, and in my day of struggle yesterday my wise counsel reminded me..."The teacher never gives answers during a test!" I remember struggling through test days, both as a teacher and a student! And right now...we are the students! And our Great Teacher has made it very clear, as we are squinting in a fog and peering through the mist that He is going to be very quiet! But - He continues to speak in the silence! And I must say - He is teaching, revealing, preparing us in ways we never imagined! Our faith is being tested, our endurance strengthened, our love - not just for one another, but for Him - expanded exponentially! He is our Refuge, Rescue, Strength and Peace! And we will continue to wait upon His timing! "Where" right now is unknown! But my contentment is in the Truth that He knows the plans HE has for us - even in this time of difficulty, struggle, adversity, preparation and growth! Again - that is His promise, not mine! [Read Jeremiah 29, then go back and read the first 28 chapters for a new sense of weeping, destruction, difficulty, storm and adversity to see the strength of that Promise!]


Kelly Update: She is doing well! She is feeling stronger everyday and continues to recover from the surgery! The 8" incision has healed - amazingly - and is not causing her much pain at this point! She continues to feel pressure, strain and stress over the incision due to Jackson's movement and growth - Hallelujah! She is not sleeping well at night though...and is unable to "relax or unwind" in our current environment/house - so please be in prayer, especially in the late evening/night!

Jackson Update: Continues to bounce! He is moving all over the place - and I swear is training for a WEC cage match! Not sure if he is grappling, punching, kickboxing, or all of the above, but this dude is a fighter - no doubt! [Guess, it is time for daddy to start some weight training!]
We have echo and ultrasound appointments this Thursday afternoon at Magee Women's Hospital, where we are hoping/praying/looking forward to seeing some "signs of measurable" improvement in his heart!

Move Update: We continue to "pursue" the house that He has prepared for us! We have looked at more than 100 homes over the internet in the last month, toured more than 10 in the last week, and have had some wonderful conversations of potential with strangers and friends, but at this point - nothing! It has been discouraging, perplexing and crushing at times - BUT God is faithful! And His delays are not His denials! The "renters market" in Western PA - is obsolete and "ugly" to say the least! It is just not part of our culture here - and so if you know of anyone that is not sure if they want to sell their home or not at this time with the current state of the market, but are needing to move/relocate...please share a conversation/prayer with them! At this point we are willing to rent or purchase a home, but only at the Lord's leading/clarity and peace! And our prayer continues to be one of surrender, openness and willingness to go wherever He is leading and preparing before us! We are excited - and ever hoping that the move out of this wilderness is coming soon! But it is all in His timing!

Prayer Requests: Please continue to be in prayer for Strength, Peace and the Perseverance! Pray for Kelly's rest and continued recovery! Pray for measurable signs of improvement this week in Jackson's heart and for his continued healing! Carter and Jordyn also need our prayers - Carter is growing anxious, and Jordyn is just completely out of her element at this point, and "acting it out" to express her emotions, which is awesome and exhausting at the same time! But, we are very thankful for the ways the Lord continues to grow us in our parenting and relationships with our children! We have had some awesome conversations and laughs with Carter, as he continues to be a prayer warrior for Jackson's healing and our move!

And even as we continue to feel the pressure, weight and strain - and see Giants in the Land - we stand firm on His promises in this time of preparation! His Love is unfailing, never ending and everlasting! And He is not about to give up on us, so let's never give up on Him! He is Faithful...even though we walk through a valley of fog...and ask the Holy Spirit to rain down!

My heart and my soul - Lord I give you control - Consume me from the inside out! Lord, Let justice and praise become my embrace -To love You from the inside out!

All Eyes on Jesus!