Suffering...

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials."  [1 Peter 1:3-6]

 

So...what question are you struggling with today? May it be the one swirling around as we look at the fierce storms, tragedy, struggle, or suffering that seems to be everywhere we turn? It may be unspoken...but thought of none the less! It may be a quiet conversation between you and your spouse, or you and your wise counsel. It may be released alone or where a group is gathered in prayer...but often times...there is no answer.

I received a Facebook message a week ago from a friend struggling for answers, asking "why would God allow the devastation, tragedy and suffering that the children, families, and country of Haiti are experiencing in the wake of the earthquake?" However, the question goes beyond Haiti...doesn't it? The question occurs in our own homes, our own relationships, our own families, churches and communities. Why God would you allow suffering and trial? Why God would you allow this storm - not just on "them" - but on me, my family, and my community? There is no easy answer - but there is one of perfect truth:

"These [suffering and trials] have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls!" [1 Peter 1:7-9]

Many times in life...God does not work nor answer prayer in the ways in which we feel He should. And we struggle with that! We struggle with the results. We struggle with the wind. We struggle with the waves. We struggle with the unknown, the uncertainty, and the unanswered. Let's be honest...we struggle in the midst of trial and suffering when we want to understand why? When we want to walk by sight - "in the know" by evidence and understanding - and not by faith! When we want to see the whole picture - including the outcome...but He is the One who is in all, through all and over all - isn't He! He is the One who is Victory! He is the One who is all wisdom and knowledge! And yet we still struggle...because just like any child we just want to know "why!" My question is..."who are you turning to for answers"?

Struggle is real...and our struggle leads to stumble when we believe our ways are better than His! When we act in ways that are not according to His good, pleasing, and perfect Will! We all struggle! And we all stumble! [see James 3] Not one of us is perfect - He is - and we stumble when we do not obey His message!

In 1 Peter, His message is clear! Times of suffering and trial have come so that your faith may be proved genuine and result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed! I want you to know...that we have struggled through this journey! There have been times of doubt, times of pain, times of anger, times of "why God would you do this to me", times of intense trial, and deep suffering! But God is Faithful! He is Perfect! He is our Healer, Redeemer and Restorer! He is our Rescue! He is our Peace! He is our Joy! He is our Strength! He is our Deliverer! He is our Provider! He is our Hope! And we will continue to worship Him, and Praise Him, and Give Him all the Glory in the midst of this storm...for He alone is worthy!

He may not always speak in a voice that is loud enough to drown out the noise of this world - but when you draw  close to Him...there is breakthrough! When you encounter the Living God...He will give you life - full and abundant! Do you believe in Jesus Christ? Do you believe that you have been reconciled to God through His death on the Cross? Do you believe that you have a living hope through His resurrection from the grave? Do you believe that through faith you are shielded by God's power until Christ's return? Do you believe in God or do you believe God? Because if you believe God, when you face the storms, trials and the suffering of life...your faith will be proven genuine and result in the praise, glory and honor of our Risen Lord and Savior!

In the midst of trial...Praise Him! In the midst of suffering...Praise Him! In the midst of tragedy...Praise Him! In devastation...Praise Him! Why...because He is, was and forever will be totally Victorious! His Redemptive plan is ALWAYS at work! He experienced suffering, trial and loss...when His love for you - and me - sent His one and Only Son to the Cross! And if we believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord...we will be saved through the tragedy and the suffering this world offers!

It has been a rough two weeks as we "re-prepare" for Jackson's second open-heart surgery in the last 9 weeks. And I hope and pray that our transparency with the struggle of this journey does not cause you doubt, worry or disbelief! But gives you a great sense of peace...because we believe and stand firm in the Word - when He spoke to His disciples..."In this world you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world!" [John 16:33]

Too many times the "stained glass masquerades" that occur in our homes, churches, and friendships close the door to the opportunity for growth in relationship and praise in worship of our Savior. We are not perfect...rather - very flawed...and we too struggle and have stumbled! But Thank God for His Forgiveness and Unconditional Love! We have not walked this storm perfectly, or done everything right...but our Heavenly Father is awesome! He is so faithful, and we are not worthy! But He is! And so let us keep our eyes on Jesus - and not on this world, the enemy or the circumstances we encounter!

Jackson update:
Over the last week...the little big man has given us a run for our money, and I am not just talking about in the world of medical bills. He has been extremely fussy - especially when the bottle is just not warming up fast enough for his liking! When the littlest Barrett is hungry...he acts like all the Barrett's! It’s a trademark in the family...you want to see us grumpy - just don't feed us for 6 hours, unless we are sleeping.
Our team of doctors share that this is very normal - that many Cardiac babies, on top of the intense care are extremely irritable. He loves to be held - and at 11 weeks old...he may very well be the most held child I have ever met - and for that our nurses continue to apologize for what they call the "CICU spoiling" effect! But even through the cries and fits...this little man is capturing our hearts! He is truly a miracle and absolutely beautiful!
He has begun to "talk" - coo that is - and enjoys playing with his big brother and sister. He has started reaching for things...including mommy's hair, which is a memory that Kel will hold close over the next several weeks, as we again hand him over to God and our team of surgeons for healing.
His circulation and oxygen levels have become a point of concern as we enter these final weeks before the Glenn Surgery; however the greater concern is the increasing leak in his tricuspid valve (that is the valve between the right ventricle and right atrium.) Last Wednesday, they increased his Captaprol medicine to try and reduce/maintain the leak by strengthening the heart muscle - but this week's echo showed no improvement. Again, they increased the Cap...and will look to the Cath intervention scheduled for this coming Wednesday (March 3) to provide internal insight/evidence to form a strategy for time, repair, or replacement in regards to the tricuspid valve. The valve problem is not a surprise to the team, but one of caution and concern. There is about 2 cups of blood being pumped by the heart - however, in a normal function that volume is shared between the left and right ventricles. With the left ventricle no longer functioning in Jackson's heart...the increased volume, pressure and work load on the right side - may be the cause of the tricuspid valve's leak, but we will only know once we are beyond the Glenn surgery and a portion of the volume the right ventricle is currently pumping is reconfigured to ease the work load. I know many of you are asking as to the details regarding the Glenn surgery and all that is involved, and I will share more details in my next blog, later this weekend...however, please continue to lift Jackson and our team of doctors/nurses up in prayer as we all prepare for this second open heart surgery in the series. It is another reconstructive surgery with the goal of more stable circulation, oxygen levels and functionality of the right side.

Here are some snapshots captured over the last two weeks of the little big man, weighing in at 11lbs 6oz: 

[I can only imagine what these two are up to!]

Prayer Requests:

• Please continue to cover Carter and Jordyn in prayer.  This last month has really taken a toll on them - as their lives have also been rocked.  "Snow days", "snow delays" and being "snowed in" has also been quite the challenge, as constant change in routine has left all of us scrambling for a sense of consistency.  [Yes...spring can't come fast enough!]  Carter had so much energy the other day...we actually put him on the treadmill, where he walked for more than 10 minutes and loved it!  It was hilarious...and great motivation! 
• Please continue to pray over the "re-preparing" process.  This second open-heart [Glenn] surgery is not as evasive as the first [Norwood] surgery - but it is still an extreme life or death procedure, with great risk of fatal complications.  We are very much aware of "the worse" and are preparing through prayer, devotion and conversation - while remaining extremely hopeful for the best!  We know that our God holds Jackson's future - and all of ours - in His hands, and we Trust Him!  He is our Hope and Healer!
• Please continue to pray for miracles and moments that bring Glory to God alone!  Pray for continued opportunities to grow in relationship with those who don't know Christ as Lord and Savior - and that as we walk by faith with Christ through this storm, trial and suffering that they may come to Salvation in relationship with our Heavenly Father!   
• Please continue to pray for physical rest, strength, energy, wisdom, clarity, and discernment as we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus! 

I don't know the winter hurricane you may be facing right now...but He does!  And I encourage you to continue to praise Him in this storm...and run this race with endurance by keeping your eyes on Jesus!  The moment we look at the waves, the wind or the circumstance - we begin to sink!  But just as He was there - immediately - for Peter...He is there for you today, grabbing hold and lifting up with an outstretched arm! 

We love you and thank you again for walking and praying us through this valley of sorrow!  There is a River of Joy - now let us keep our eyes fixed on Him!